SEARCHING FOR MORE

When do we begin yearning for MORE? I think it begins when we‘re children – as was evidenced by my own little cherubs. We started the Christmas tradition of advent boxes when our girls were in first grade and pre-school. Each day, from December 1-24, our family: 1) read a selected Scripture, 2) shared a short Christmas story, and 3) opened one 1"x 2"x 3" box containing a small gift. The gifts might be coins or pieces of candy, sometimes even a colored "pill" – the outer shell of which dissolved in warm water to reveal a little foam animal. At first each gift was met with wide-eyed enthusiasm, but as the girls grew older they searched for MORE. By the time they reached fourth grade and first grade, our little angels were scowling at the coins and tossing the pills aside. They wanted MORE. So the next year, we made advent a scavenger hunt, filling the advent boxes with clues as to where bigger gifts were hidden in the house. A few years later, our girls outsmarted us and found the gifts before the advent boxes were opened. So once again, we had to find a way to deliver MORE. We began placing wrapped gifts under the tree and numbering them in correlation with the advent box number. We tucked into the advent boxes snappy little poems that gave clues about the gift in the corresponding wrapped gift. This advent strategy has proven most effective and is still in use today – when our girls are in their mid twenties! (The above photo displaying some of our little silly gifts still in use and the fact that our new son-in-law also finds this tradition fascinating!) However, now that our kids are grown, we've all discovered there's just something missing about Christmas. We remember how special Christmas was when children's laughter rang out when they opened their gifts. Wouldn't it be nice to have some grand-kids around? Hmmm, maybe even grown-ups want MORE….

Gen. 35:1 – "Then God said to Jacob, 'Go up to Bethel and settle there…'"

• Jacob went to Bethel. He built an altar, Rebekah's nurse (Deborah) died and God reaffirmed both His covenant and new name to Israel. But instead of obeying God's command to settle in Bethel…

Gen. 35:16-20 – "Then they moved on from Bethel. While they were still some distance from Ephrath, Rachel began to give birth and had great difficulty. And as she was having great difficulty in childbirth, the midwife said to her, 'Don't be afraid, for you have another son.' As she breathed her last—for she was dying—she named her son Ben-Oni. But his father named him Benjamin. So Rachel died and was buried on the way to Ephrath (that is, Bethlehem). Over her tomb Jacob set up a pillar, and to this day that pillar marks Rachel's tomb."

• Rachel's death was the first of three tragedies that befell Jacob after he left Bethel. I had always imagined Rachel's death as God's punishment for Jacob's sin. But perhaps she died simply because Jacob didn't heed God's practical directive to SETTLE in Bethel because his pregnant wife was on the verge of childbirth. Sometimes God's commands are purely practical in nature. Many Old Testament Laws (Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy) were given to establish sanitation and health practices for a nomadic nation. When the Lord lays a command on our hearts, oftentimes His motive is not to squelch our fun or prove His power – but rather to protect us from all sorts of potential harm.

Gen. 35:21-26 – "Israel moved on again and pitched his tent beyond Migdal Eder. While Israel was living in that region, Reuben went in and slept with his father's concubine Bilhah, and Israel heard of it. Jacob had twelve sons: The sons of Leah: Reuben the firstborn of Jacob, Simeon, Levi, Judah, Issachar and Zebulun. The sons of Rachel: Joseph and Benjamin. The sons of Rachel's maidservant Bilhah: Dan and Naphtali. The sons of Leah's maidservant Zilpah: Gad and Asher. These were the sons of Jacob, who were born to him in Paddan Aram." (emphasis added)

• Consider the grief each person felt at Rachel's loss. Jacob had loved Rachel since the moment he saw her, and imagine Bilhah's grief at the death of her lifelong mistress. Rather than making camp at Ephrath (Bethlehem), Jacob pressed on, moving his family during their grief. Consider this. Would Reuben have slept with Bilhah if Jacob's clan had settled in Bethel as God commanded? Of course, we cannot know the exact circumstances that drew Reuben and Bilhah together, and they are responsible before God for their choice to sin; however, did Jacob's disobedience play a part in their liaison? Maybe Bilhah was despondent at Rachel's death and Jacob, because of his own grief, was insensitive to the needs of others. Perhaps Reuben had simply meant to comfort Bilhah, or maybe as Jacob's firstborn, Reuben saw the opportunity to gain MORE than the firstborn's share and take his father's wife. Sometimes one decision sets into motion a series of dire consequences. Notice Scripture records nothing of Jacob's reaction to the news of Reuben's infidelity. Only a recounting of Jacob's children punctuates the scene, affirming that his family remains – hurting and broken as it was.

Gen. 35:27-29 – "Jacob came home to his father Isaac in Mamre, near Kiriath Arba (that is, Hebron), where Abraham and Isaac had stayed. Isaac lived a hundred and eighty years. Then he breathed his last and died and was gathered to his people, old and full of years. And his sons Esau and Jacob buried him."

• It seems Jacob's search for MORE finally ended when he arrived at his father's side. But his satisfaction was fleeting. Isaac died shortly after Jacob arrived and left him face-to-face with his brother, Esau. Jacob had twelve sons, three wives and the wealth of his household, but at what cost? His father was gone, his beloved Rachel dead, and the brother he had deceived repeatedly stared at him over their father's grave. What MORE could fill Jacob's heart now? Where did he turn to seek new hope for the rest of his days? The desire for MORE must be focused beyond the temporal things of this world.

Lord, I yearn and search for MORE, and then when I reach the goal – it often feels hollow or only satisfies for a short time. Teach me the contentment of obedience, the utter satisfaction of living in perfect harmony with Your desire for me. Teach me to be still when You ask me to settle and to step out when you call me to action.

A WOVEN MOMENT

It's sort of like déjà vu – but different. A woven moment occurs when events from your past converge in a single moment, weaving together an indelible new moment. Woven moments often happen during landmark events in our lives: weddings, funerals, reunions of all sorts. In the weeks and months leading up to our daughter's recent wedding, I experienced many woven moments, but one stands apart. One evening when Emily was home from college on Christmas break, we unearthed my twenty-six year-old wedding gown, broke open the sealed package, and she tried it on. Tears instantly sprang to my eyes. It was a woven moment. Memories of her dad's and my wedding bombarded me. And then I saw our little girl on her first day of kindergarten, her golden curls bouncing as she ran down the stairs with her sister. Then came those difficult teen years, rushing back in a cacophony of victory as I watched the love of Jesus now sparkle in her eyes. This new moment, forever etched in my mind, standing in my wedding gown. (A perfect fit, BTW – was I ever really that skinny?) Woven moments are most incredible because they aren't simply a one-time stitch – they're a lifetime tapestry. Less than six months later, I was blessed with another woven moment. My husband walked our daughter down a grassy aisle in her own wedding gown, a new moment added to the events that will weave into the next and next and next tapestry we share. God allows us to experience a little bit of Jacob's tapestry, Jacob‟s woven moments on his way to Bethel…

Gen. 35:1-3 – “Then God said to Jacob, 'Go up to Bethel and settle there, and build an altar there to God, who appeared to you when you were fleeing from your brother Esau.' So Jacob said to his household and to all who were with him, 'Get rid of the foreign gods you have with you, and purify yourselves and change your clothes. Then come, let us go up to Bethel, where I will build an altar to God, who answered me in the day of my distress and who has been with me wherever I have gone.'” (emphasis added)

• Jacob is terrified that his sons' rash attack on Shechem will bring vengeance from the Canaanites – just as he feared Esau‟s vengeance 20+ years ago. Notice that Jacob addressed “his household” and “all who were with him.” He was staring into the faces of the Shechemite women and children that his sons took captive. His deceitful history and his sons‟ sins stared back at him. But he CHOSE to focus on God's promise rather than his own fear or failure. His woven moment is one of purposely, consciously remembering God's faithfulness and moving forward.

Gen. 35:4-8 – “So they gave Jacob all the foreign gods they had and the rings in their ears, and Jacob buried them under the oak at Shechem. Then they set out, and the terror of God fell upon the towns all around them so that no one pursued them. Jacob and all the people with him came to Luz (that is, Bethel) in the land of Canaan. There he built an altar, and he called the place El Bethel, because it was there that God revealed himself to him when he was fleeing from his brother. Now Deborah, Rebekah’s nurse, died and was buried under the oak below Bethel. So it was named Allon Bacuth.” (emphasis added)

• Surely, in this collecting of ALL foreign gods, Rachel surrendered the household gods she had stolen from her father, Laban (Gen. 31:34). Was this the first Jacob knew of Rachel's thievery or idolatry? How would Rachel have felt about giving up the idols? Did it put a wedge between her and Jacob? Soon after arriving in Bethel, Jacob buried the woman who would have been his wet-nurse, Deborah – another strong female relationship in his life…strong enough to mention in the biblical record. Both the idols and Deborah were buried under oak trees. Though a spiritual victory for God at Shechem – overcoming idolatry – the personal turmoil for Jacob may have caused a few knots in this woven moment. Sometimes the best strategy for knot removal is simply to submit to the Master Weaver's hands and wait. Woven moments aren't always free of snags, but they can all be made beautiful by the Master.

Gen. 35:9-10 – “After Jacob returned from Paddan Aram, God appeared to him again and blessed him. God said to him, 'Your name is Jacob, but you will no longer be called Jacob; your name will be Israel.' So he named him Israel.”

• God reminds Jacob that he is named, “Struggles with God.” Why? My guess is: Because Jacob was struggling with God. Let's face it, life's been hard. Dinah was raped. His sons just killed and captured an entire city of innocent people. And then Jacob's mother-figure (Deborah) died. Wouldn't you be struggling with God? So in this woven moment, God calls Jacob to recall the wrestling match on the riverbank of the Jabbok. And with the memory of struggle came a renewed assurance of blessing.

Gen. 35:11-15 – “And God said to him, 'I am God Almighty; be fruitful and increase in number. A nation and a community of nations will come from you, and kings will come from your body. The land I gave to Abraham and Isaac I also give to you, and I will give this land to your descendants after you.' Then God went up from him at the place where he had talked with him. Jacob set up a stone pillar at the place where God had talked with him, and he poured out a drink offering on it; he also poured oil on it. Jacob called the place where God had talked with him Bethel.”

• How many times had Jacob heard his Grandfather Abraham tell the story of God's promise and calling? How many times had Isaac told Jacob of the Land promised to his descendants? Now, the same Almighty God speaks into this woven moment, a tapestry of history with a legacy that will stretch into eternity. The newly named Israel is forever woven into the fabric of his forefathers, the Promised Land and God's story. Just as we are woven into our own stories of family, experience and God's plan.

Lord, open my eyes to more woven moments so I can appreciate the Weaver's Hand. I want to hear Your voice and feel the assurance of your direction as Jacob did. Show me the past events that weave together my current moments into the delicate future You have so carefully planned for me. I want to walk in the beauty of Your very best, Father. Only Your best.

MOTIVES OF THE HEART

Motives are tricky business. Some are quite clear from the beginning. When we were driving our mega-cross-country trip from Washington to Indiana and back again, I would often turn to my husband in near panic and say, “Honey, we need to stop at the next gas station.” He, of course, assumed my morning coffee or afternoon tea needed an escape route. By the third day of this assumption, however, he discovered that coffee and tea weren't always my motivation. Each time I stepped through those convenience store doors with a sleeve of powdered-sugar donuts, he grew more suspicious of my bladder. Once, he even tried to stop at a rest area! Heaven forbid! Their snack machines NEVER have PSD's (powdered-sugar donuts – for those of you non-experts in Dolly Madison snacks). Thus began the challenge of motives. Was my plea to pee pure or a ploy for PSD's? Now, don't poo-poo our perplexing problem. One wrong judgment of my motive, and we could have quite a poo-poo problem. Fortunately, my dear husband is gracious and patient with my tainted motives, but in Jacob's household, motives of the heart were revealed only through tragedy…

Gen. 34:13-17 – “Because their sister Dinah had been defiled, Jacob's sons replied deceitfully as they spoke to Shechem and his father Hamor. They said to them, 'We can't do such a thing; we can't give our sister to a man who is not circumcised. That would be a disgrace to us. We will give our consent to you on one condition only: that you become like us by circumcising all your males. Then we will give you our daughters and take your daughters for ourselves. We'll settle among you and become one people with you. But if you will not agree to be circumcised, we'll take our sister and go.'” (emphasis added)

• Jacob, the man whose name meant “deceiver,” allows his sons to bargain deceitfully. The author of Genesis leaves no doubt that their motivation was deceit, and I don't think they ever intended for their wild demand to be accepted by the Shechemites. But what happens when your motivation is trickery – and then it backfires…and puts you in the tight spot instead? Where do you land spiritually after that?

Gen. 34:18-24 – “Their proposal seemed good to Hamor and his son Shechem. The young man, who was the most honored of all his father's household, lost no time in doing what they said, because he was delighted with Jacob's daughter. So Hamor and his son Shechem went to the gate of their city to speak to their fellow townsmen. 'These men are friendly toward us,' they said. 'Let them live in our land and trade in it; the land has plenty of room for them. We can marry their daughters and they can marry ours. But the men will consent to live with us as one people only on the condition that our males be circumcised, as they themselves are. Won’t their livestock, their property and all their other animals become ours? So let us give our consent to them, and they will settle among us.' All the men who went out of the city gate agreed with Hamor and his son Shechem, and every male in the city was circumcised.” (emphasis added)

• From the order of events in these verses, it sounds as if Shechem rushed home from Jacob's tent, was circumcised, and then took his trophy to the city gate and said, “See fellas! It ain't so bad!” Again, the author of Genesis tells us the motivation – Shechem was DELIGHTED with Dinah. But Hamor and Shechem were motivated by something different altogether – GREED – to convince the men of Shechem to submit to circumcision (“Won't their livestock, etc.…become ours”). Don't just skim over this. Circumcision is common in our culture, but in the land of Canaan, it was a strange mutilation of manhood. Jacob must have had considerable wealth in order to persuade a whole city of men to succumb to such a delicate procedure. Greed is a powerful and insidious motivator.

Gen. 34:25-31 – “Three days later, while all of them were still in pain, two of Jacob's sons, Simeon and Levi, Dinah’s brothers, took their swords and attacked the unsuspecting city, killing every male. They put Hamor and his son Shechem to the sword and took Dinah from Shechem's house and left. The sons of Jacob came upon the dead bodies and looted the city where their sister had been defiled. They seized their flocks and herds and donkeys and everything else of theirs in the city and out in the fields. They carried off all their wealth and all their women and children, taking as plunder everything in the houses. Then Jacob said to Simeon and Levi, 'You have brought trouble on me by making me a stench to the Canaanites and Perizzites, the people living in this land. We are few in number, and if they join forces against me and attack me, I and my household will be destroyed.' But they replied, 'Should he have treated our sister like a prostitute?'” (emphasis added)

• Known for murdering the whole town of unsuspecting Shechemite men, Simeon's and Levi's REVENGE for their full sister, Dinah (from the same mother, Leah) is legendary. But what about the other “sons of Jacob,” who went to Shechem after the killing spree to plunder the town and take captive the women and children? Are they less wicked because their deeds were motivated by GREED or LUST? And what about Jacob? He chastised only Leah's murderous sons, his only motivation seemed to be SELF-PRESERVATION – which isn't a bad thing…except when he shows no concern at all for his daughter or the dead Shechemites. Imagine if Simeon and Levi were the only ones with impure motives – imagine if Jacob's motives and those of his other sons' would have been righteous and repentant. How different could this event have been?

Lord, it is often in the fire of tragedy that all pretense is burned away and true motives come to light. Please, Father, purify my motives BEFORE the tragedy comes. Reveal where I have less than a clean heart, and by Your grace and mercy, help me to make the necessary decisions to change my heart and become a good and godly example for You on this earth.

TEACHING AN OLD DOG…

I used to be pretty hard on those old fogeys that hated change. Now that I'm one of them, I think us old fogeys are brilliant, and change is over-rated. Perhaps I don't quite qualify for old fogey status yet, but I have noticed that change is becoming more difficult. I like what I like. Why? Because I like it. It's taken me over four decades to arrive at the me I am, so don't mess with the masterpiece! Well, the masterpiece of 'me' is more like a finger-painting on a paper plate, so I suppose a little change wouldn't be a bad idea. And let's face it. We all MUST change – whether we like it or not. Check out a picture of yourself ten years ago. 'Nuf said.

We recently enjoyed a visit with a high school friend and her husband. This friend was very quiet when we were in school, while Roy and I were quite out-going. Della was a timid girl but very cute. She was a part of the dance team in high school; however, she seldom interacted much in social circles. Roy was the typical star athlete – football quarterback, basketball scoring guard and ornery to the core. I was active in lots of clubs and activities and joined the dance team my senior year. Della and I grew to be good friends our freshman year of college, when we were roommates at the University of Dayton, but we lost touch after she was a bridesmaid in our wedding.

After twenty years, Della found me on the internet in 2005, and we've kept in touch since. During our recent visit, we talked about how each of us has changed. She's now the effervescent, bubbly, life of the party; while Roy and I would rather sit in a corner at a party. Life changes us. Age changes us. God changes us…

Gen. 33:1-3 – "Jacob looked up and there was Esau, coming with his four hundred men; so he divided the children among Leah, Rachel and the two maidservants. He put the maidservants and their children in front, Leah and her children next, and Rachel and Joseph in the rear. He himself went on ahead and bowed down to the ground seven times as he approached his brother." (emphasis added)

• The number seven is oftentimes used as a symbol of completeness in Scripture. Jacob bows seven times to signify his complete submission to Esau after all these years. Parading his wives showed his complete vulnerability, and the extravagant offerings of gifts displayed his complete commitment to repentance. Humble, vulnerable, repentant – this seemed to be a different Jacob than the man who stole Esau's blessing from their blind father twenty years ago. But would time prove the changes that fear began?

Gen. 33:4-7 – "But Esau ran to meet Jacob and embraced him; he threw his arms around his neck and kissed him. And they wept. Then Esau looked up and saw the women and children. 'Who are these with you?' he asked. Jacob answered, 'They are the children God has graciously given your servant.' Then the maidservants and their children approached and bowed down. Next, Leah and her children came and bowed down. Last of all came Joseph and Rachel, and they too bowed down." (emphasis added)

• Not only did we see big changes in Jacob, but now Esau shows some MAJOR softening during the past twenty years. He ran to Jacob, welcoming him with hugs, kisses and tears – a far cry from threatening to kill Jacob, which was the reason Jacob fled to Uncle Laban in Haran. Can people really change so drastically in twenty years? Did Jacob gauge Esau's honesty according to his own? We must walk a fine line between shrewdness and cynicism as we are exposed to more disappointment in our lives.

Gen. 33:8-11 - "Esau asked, 'What do you mean by all these droves I met?'
'To find favor in your eyes, my lord,' he said.
But Esau said, 'I already have plenty, my brother. Keep what you have for yourself.'
'No, please!' said Jacob. 'If I have found favor in your eyes, accept this gift from me. For to see your face is like seeing the face of God, now that you have received me favorably. Please accept the present that was brought to you, for God has been gracious to me and I have all I need.'
And because Jacob insisted, Esau accepted it." (emphasis added)

• Jacob says seeing Esau's face is like Peniel – the face of God. He's remembering his wrestling match as he stands in the safety of his brother's presence and God's shadow. This, too, is a change in Jacob – to praise God's presence and power in the midst of the circumstance – not taking credit himself or ascribing success to an old wives' tale (as he did with the striped wood shavings in the water troughs).

Gen. 33:12-17 – "Then Esau said, 'Let us be on our way; I'll accompany you.'
But Jacob said to him, 'My lord knows that the children are tender and that I must care for the ewes and cows that are nursing their young. If they are driven hard just one day, all the animals will die. So let my lord go on ahead of his servant, while I move along slowly at the pace of the droves before me and that of the children, until I come to my lord in Seir.'
Esau said, 'Then let me leave some of my men with you.'
'But why do that?' Jacob asked. 'Just let me find favor in the eyes of my lord.'
So that day Esau started on his way back to Seir. Jacob, however, went to Succoth, where he built a place for himself and made shelters for his livestock. That is why the place is called Succoth." (emphasis added)

• Jacob said he planned to go to Seir, but the excuses he offered Esau and the shelters he built in Succoth testify against his empty promises. If Jacob intended to follow God's command, he had to go to Canaan, not Seir; but how could he tell his brother Esau (and the army of 400 men) that he wasn't going to Seir? Well, it's called trusting God to work out the plan He has ordained for your life… But Jacob, the deceiver, had evidently NOT changed as much as his groveling, gifts and gushing might have suggested.

Gen. 33:18-20 – "After Jacob came from Paddan Aram, he arrived safely at the city of Shechem in Canaan and camped within sight of the city. For a hundred pieces of silver, he bought from the sons of Hamor, the father of Shechem, the plot of ground where he pitched his tent. There he set up an altar and called it El Elohe Israel."

• Though Jacob lied to his brother, he has obeyed God and arrived in the land of Canaan, purchasing the first of his inheritance. Displaying some positive change, Jacob builds yet another altar and reveals a little of his heart in its name – El Elohe Israel – "Mighty is the God of Israel" or "Mighty is the God of he who struggles with God." I love the name of this altar because it depicts so well Jacob's inner battle.

Lord, I, too, struggle with You – but I'm so thankful You're MIGHTIER than my struggles! No matter how many times I stumble back into old habits or sins, Your mighty arms lift me up and drag me back to repentance. I praise You, Mighty God, for the struggles of life because they're forming me into Your image. Life is change, and You are the only thing in my life that will never change.

A LONG NIGHT

What do you do when you can't sleep? Count sheep? Drink warm milk or a glass of wine? I take an Ambien, and I'm out in thirty minutes. But my husband lays awake and thinks – and he's had some of his greatest revelations during those long nights. When we were looking for a house in Washington, we'd decided to offer on a certain place because we thought its driveway was large enough to park my father-in-law's RV. The night before submitting our offer, Roy couldn't sleep. He rehearsed the fifty houses we had visited during the week, and something about this house didn't feel right. He got up while it was still dark, took his tape-measurer, drove to the location and re-measured the driveway. Sure enough, we'd forgotten to include a crucial part of the measurement. We offered on our current home instead and have been thrilled with the decision. It would require more than my fingers and toes to count the times my husband has wrestled with a difficult issue during the night and arrived at a brilliant solution! Perhaps it's his competitive nature that compels him to fight through the exhaustion and find resolution. I simply get frustrated and reach for the sleeping aid! Not so with the determined man in my life. Not so with Jacob…

Gen. 32:22-24 – “That night Jacob got up and took his two wives, his two maidservants and his eleven sons and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. After he had sent them across the stream, he sent over all his possessions. So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak.” (emphasis added)

• “…Jacob got up…” would seem to imply that Jacob rousted his family out of bed to send them across the river. Why? Knowing his brother Esau was already on his way to meet him with 400 men, Jacob placed his wife, kids and possessions as a buffer between them. I think there is a line between fear and cowardice…and Jacob crossed it. Fear often reveals the deeper character, hidden by a master of deception.
  

Gen. 32:25-26 – “When he saw that he had not prevailed against him, he touched the socket of his thigh; so the socket of Jacob's thigh was dislocated while he wrestled with him. Then he said, 'Let me go, for the dawn is breaking.‟ But he said, „I will not let you go unless you bless me.'”

• Many of us are quite capable of making good decisions and conceiving viable life plans. We are strong mentally, physically and/or emotionally and feel as though we handle life extremely well without a Savior. God must occasionally cripple our strong area in order to reveal His power in our weakness. Because our Heavenly Father knows each one of His children intimately well, He knows where, when and to what degree to “touch” each one in order to test and refine us. Our job is to keep wrestling until the blessing comes - not begrudging God the methods of blessing.

Gen. 32:27-29 – “The man asked him, 'What is your name?'
'Jacob,' he answered.
Then the man said, 'Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with men and have overcome.'
Jacob said, 'Please tell me your name.'
But he replied, 'Why do you ask my name?' Then he blessed him there.” (emphasis added)

• I love God's questions in Scripture! He never asks because He needs information. He asks because He wants the person being questioned to THINK! In the ancient Middle East, a person's name embodied that individual's character. So, when God asked Jacob his name and Jacob said – “Yaakov” (deceiver, one who “grasps the heel”) – Jacob confessed a lifetime of deception. But here's the precious part. God renamed him “struggles with God” – not just because Jacob and his descendants would forever struggle with Him – but because Jacob had struggled and OVERCOME God. One commentator observed, “When you battle with God, you only win by losing and by not giving up until you know you have lost. This is how Jacob prevailed.”

Gen. 32:30-32 – “So Jacob called the place Peniel, saying, 'It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared.' The sun rose above him as he passed Peniel, and he was limping because of his hip. Therefore to this day the Israelites do not eat the tendon attached to the socket of the hip, because the socket of Jacob's hip was touched near the tendon.” (emphasis added)

• We can learn two very important lessons from Jacob's wrestling match.

1. Wrestling with God can be a very LONG process – they began wrestling at night, but “the sun rose above him” by the time the match was over.
2. Both God's “touch” and His blessings can cause permanent change – Jewish tradition tells us that Jacob limped for the rest of his life.

Lord, fear drove Jacob to this wrestling match, but I wrestle with You for infinite reasons. Fear, control, doubt – or simply, ugly rebellion. Perhaps the secret to less wrestling and enduring blessing is to prevail over You by submitting to You sooner! Let it be so, Lord. Let it be so.

TWO CAMPS

Celebrating Christmas is always more fun when a family gets to watch little kids open gifts. Part of the fun is the unpredictability of their reactions to the gift! When Aunt Lulu giftwraps a hand-knitted purple sweater for little Johnny, his instinctive response is, “Eewww!” Every parent cowers, cringes, cries at the humiliation of a child's transparency. When little Johnny gets a little older, his manners improve; and this time he greets Aunt Lulu's 6-pack of tighty whitey underwear with a droning, “Thank you, Aunt Lulu,” before tossing the package aside and ravenously opening the next gift. Soon, little Johnny has created two piles on Christmas morning: the “Ho-hum, sit in my drawer untouched” pile and the “Woohoo, this is great stuff” pile. I tend to be like little Johnny with God's gifts. Unfortunately, when God piles on the gifts and blessings so regularly, my “Woohoo” factor goes down. It takes bigger and better things to warrant my “Woohoo” pile, and soon my “Ho-hum” pile is mounded with even His most gracious provisions. Jacob had a little “Woohoo” problem when he faced a potential problem…

Gen. 32:1-3 – [After God protected Jacob from Laban's wrath] “Jacob also went on his way, and the angels of God met him. When Jacob saw them, he said, 'This is the camp of God!' So he named that place Mahanaim. Jacob sent messengers ahead of him to his brother Esau in the land of Seir, the country of Edom.”

• Jacob had just experienced God's miraculous rescue from his ticked-off father-in-law, and now he sees the supernatural manifestation of God's angels right before his eyes! Woohoo! So what does he do? He names a patch of ground, and then – ho-hum – proceeded with his own plan as though he'd never seen God's power available to him. In which of your piles rests the Cross of Christ and the Holy Spirit?

Gen. 32:4-5 – “[Jacob] instructed them: 'This is what you are to say to my master Esau: “Your servant Jacob says, I have been staying with Laban and have remained there till now. I have cattle and donkeys, sheep and goats, menservants and maidservants. Now I am sending this message to my lord, that I may find favor in your eyes.”'”

• Jacob tried to TALK his way out of trouble. Many of us believe if we can just TALK to or reason with someone, we can work things out. I've heard it said that if I spent as much time talking to God about a certain individual as I spent talking to that individual about God…we'd all be better off. Unfortunately, I seem to think my words are more effective in swaying a heart than my prayers…hmmm.

Gen. 32:6-8 – “When the messengers returned to Jacob, they said, 'We went to your brother Esau, and now he is coming to meet you, and four hundred men are with him.' In great fear and distress Jacob divided the people who were with him into two groups,(two camps) and the flocks and herds and camels as well. He thought, 'If Esau comes and attacks one group,(two camps) the group that is left may escape.'”

• Jacob tried to THINK-STRATEGIZE-WORRY his way out of trouble. He used the same word, Mahanaim, to describe the camps he was dividing but didn't include God in either group! How many times do we think, plan and worry – without once including God in the strategy session?

Gen. 32:9-12 – “Then Jacob prayed, 'O God of my father Abraham, God of my father Isaac, O LORD , who said to me, “Go back to your country and your relatives, and I will make you prosper,” I am unworthy of all the kindness and faithfulness you have shown your servant. I had only my staff when I crossed this Jordan, but now I have become two groups. Save me, I pray, from the hand of my brother Esau, for I am afraid he will come and attack me, and also the mothers with their children. But you have said, “I will surely make you prosper and will make your descendants like the sand of the sea, which cannot be counted.”'”

• Jacob tried to PRAY his way out of trouble. So what's wrong with that? He even prays God's Words back to Him. That sounds like a great idea! Absolutely! But here's the problem. What happens AFTER the prayer? Did Jacob receive peace after the prayer that was accompanied by faith? Were Jacob's next words/actions those of a man trusting God with his future? Was Jacob's prayer a panicked plea from a desperate man or an urgent request from a confident covenant bearer? There is a difference.

Gen. 32:13-20 – “He spent the night there, and from what he had with him he selected a gift for his brother Esau: two hundred female goats and twenty male goats, two hundred ewes and twenty rams, thirty female camels with their young, forty cows and ten bulls, and twenty female donkeys and ten male donkeys. He put them in the care of his servants, each herd by itself, and said to his servants, 'Go ahead of me, and keep some space between the herds.' He instructed the one in the lead: 'When my brother Esau meets you and asks, “To whom do you belong, and where are you going, and who owns all these animals in front of you?” then you are to say, “They belong to your servant Jacob. They are a gift sent to my lord Esau, and he is coming behind us.”' He also instructed the second, the third and all the others who followed the herds: 'You are to say the same thing to Esau when you meet him. And be sure to say, “Your servant Jacob is coming behind us.”' For he thought, 'I will pacify him with these gifts I am sending on ahead; later, when I see him, perhaps he will receive me.'”

• Jacob tried to BUY his way out of trouble. The last-ditch effort. If the talking, planing and praying didn't work, maybe bribery would speak his brother's language. Call it insurance…or call it doubt.

Gen. 32:21 – “So Jacob's gifts went on ahead of him, but he himself spent the night in the camp.”

• Jacob was divided. He was in one camp, his peace offerings in another…Mahanaim…but no angels of God in either.

Lord, I want You in my undivided camp – You as my power Source. I don't want to spin and toil on my own, after giving You a simple nod and ceremonial thank-You. Let Your presence guide, conquer and bring peace to every circumstance I face. Amen.

IN THE HEAT OF THE MOMENT

Have you ever wondered how you would respond in an emergency? Maybe you've already been tested in some way, put through the ringer when pressures were high. I often think of stories like Anne Frank and Corrie ten Boom, kept hidden from Nazis by those who were willing – and able – to calmly lie when tensions soared. But my greatest fear is this. Can I tell the truth when tensions are high? So far, I've noticed my first instinct is to lie. Ugh. A telemarketer calls, and asks if I have a moment to talk. I say, “No, I'm getting ready to walk out the door.” Does it matter that my appointment isn't for 2 hours? Okay, that's not an emergency, but my first inclination is still to lie. How about this…my husband was checking the water valve connection behind the refrigerator. He asked me to help him slide the frig. back into place, but first, he needed to check that the water hose wasn't kinked. He bent down, and I pushed ever-so-slightly against the frig. to see how heavy it was. The stupid thing moved, and Roy jerked his hand away from the wheels.

“Are you moving the refrigerator?” he yelled. “My hand was back there!”

My immediate answer? “No! Of course, not!”

Okay, think about it. How else did the frig. move? We're the only two people in the stinkin' house! Duh. But I barely touched it, and I didn't know it was on wheels, and it moved less than ¼ inch…but still…I moved it. Ugh. So I had to back-pedal. “Well, yes, actually, I, um, well…” So how do you respond in the heat of the moment?

Gen. 31:22-24 – “On the third day Laban was told that Jacob had fled. Taking his relatives with him, he pursued Jacob for seven days and caught up with him in the hill country of Gilead. Then God came to Laban the Aramean in a dream at night and said to him, 'Be careful not to say anything to Jacob, either good or bad.'”

• Jacob with 4 wives and 11 of his own children (not counting servants and their children) covered 300 miles in 10 days. No McDonalds. No Holiday Inns. Tents, campfires, camels, herds and flocks. And it took Laban 7 days to catch them – 7 days of rage building. In the heat of the moment, God stepped in before Laban could harm His chosen Covenant-bearer. Many commentators believe God's direction to “not say anything to Jacob, good or bad” meant that Laban shouldn't try to persuade Jacob to return to Haran using bribery or threats. The important thing is – God isn't limited to speak only to those who serve Him. He can protect His children even from those who don't recognize God as the True God.

Gen. 31:25-30 – “Jacob had pitched his tent in the hill country of Gilead when Laban overtook him, and Laban and his relatives camped there too. Then Laban said to Jacob, 'What have you done? You've deceived me, and you've carried off my daughters like captives in war. Why did you run off secretly and deceive me? Why didn't you tell me, so I could send you away with joy and singing to the music of tambourines and harps? You didn't even let me kiss my grandchildren and my daughters good-by. You have done a foolish thing. I have the power to harm you; but last night the God of your father said to me, “Be careful not to say anything to Jacob, either good or bad.” Now you have gone off because you longed to return to your father's house. But why did you steal my gods?'” (emphasis added)

• Even in the heat of the moment, Laban mixes truth with lies – because deception is mired so deeply into his character. Imagine the highly charged emotions of this scene. Imagine the fear in Jacob and his wives/children. Imagine the anger/frustration in Laban at being duped and then kept from vengeance by a God not even his own. And finally, imagine that the only gods you think you can rely on have just been stolen by the one person who has taken everything else you value.

Gen. 31:31-32 – “Jacob answered Laban, 'I was afraid, because I thought you would take your daughters away from me by force. But if you find anyone who has your gods, he shall not live. In the presence of our relatives, see for yourself whether there is anything of yours here with me; and if so, take it.' Now Jacob did not know that Rachel had stolen the gods.”

• Jacob was painfully honest in the heat of this moment. Fear was his motivation for their stealth departure. And in his moment of righteousness, he makes a rash promise based in pride…and it could have gotten his most beloved wife killed.

Gen. 31:33-35 – “So Laban went into Jacob's tent and into Leah's tent and into the tent of the two maidservants, but he found nothing. After he came out of Leah's tent, he entered Rachel's tent. Now Rachel had taken the household gods and put them inside her camel's saddle and was sitting on them. Laban searched through everything in the tent but found nothing. Rachel said to her father, 'Don't be angry, my lord, that I cannot stand up in your presence; I'm having my period.' So he searched but could not find the household gods.”

• In the heat of the moment, Rachel panicked and lied. Her life depended on it, and she'd seen the deceptive game her father and husband had played for twenty years. Why wouldn't she lie? But does the prevalence of deceit make deceit acceptable?

Gen. 31:36-37 – “Jacob was angry and took Laban to task. 'What is my crime?' he asked Laban. 'What sin have I committed that you hunt me down? Now that you have searched through all my goods, what have you found that belongs to your household? Put it here in front of your relatives and mine, and let them judge between the two of us.'”

• Okay, Jake. A little over-the-top on the self-righteousness? Aren't you the one that swindled your hungry brother out of his birthright? Aren't you the one that deceived your blind, old dad? And BTW, if Rachel hadn't lied, you'd be digging her grave about now. No matter how righteous we seem to ourselves or others, we are never pure enough to tout our own holiness – not when we serve the Servant Savior, the Almighty God of grace.

Lord, my heart, my head and my tongue can run away with me in the heat of the moment. I can say, think, feel and do all sorts of things I'll later regret. Please, Prince of Peace, give me the trueness of spirit to act and react with a steadfastness born of a life lived in Your presence.

SEEKING CONFIRMATION

What steps do you take before making a big decision? Do you pray or read your Bible, hoping for a personal revelation? Do you ask for opinions from friends and family members? Or do you stand around wondering until the opportunity passes you by? Ugh. I've done that a time or two. When my husband and I have been in those “seeking” stages of life, we've noticed a pattern. God begins to make us a little uncomfortable, sort of like a mama eagle removing the soft downy feathers from the nest of twigs. She takes out more and more of the soft stuff, leaving only the sticks poking the young eaglets by the time they're ready to fly. Well, our nest generally gets pretty sticky before we are willing to fly. I don't know eagle-speak, but I wonder if mama eagle asks daddy eagle these questions before she gives the eaglets the boot. “So will our next nest be bigger or smaller? Will the schools be adequate? How about the neighborhood – is it safe for the kids? Can we afford to move? The resale value on this nest will never give us enough for a down-payment on the next.” Oh, those eagles. Always thinking ahead. But sometimes eagles just have to look at the few facts they have and let it fly! They've outgrown their current nest. There's simply not enough food for them all where they are now. And the Wind is calling them to go NOW…

Gen. 31:1-3 – “Jacob heard that Laban's sons were saying, 'Jacob has taken everything our father owned and has gained all this wealth from what belonged to our father.' And Jacob noticed that Laban's attitude toward him was not what it had been. Then the LORD said to Jacob, 'Go back to the land of your fathers and to your relatives, and I will be with you.'”

• Jacob felt no puffy, soft feather from any of Laban's sons and Laban himself got in a poke or two from the nest. Even God gave Jacob a gentle nudge. Wouldn't you think that would be enough? Well, jealous brothers-in-law, a grouchy father-in-law and a direct word from God wasn't enough to convince Jacob.

Gen. 31:4-9 – “So Jacob sent word to Rachel and Leah to come out to the fields where his flocks were. He said to them, 'I see that your father's attitude toward me is not what it was before, but the God of my father has been with me. You know that I've worked for your father with all my strength, yet your father has cheated me by changing my wages ten times. However, God has not allowed him to harm me. If he said, “The speckled ones will be your wages,” then all the flocks gave birth to speckled young; and if he said, “The streaked ones will be your wages,” then all the flocks bore streaked young. So God has taken away your father's livestock and has given them to me.'”

• We learn more of Laban's deceit as Jacob convinces his wives of what God has said he must do. Ooops, back up the train! If Jacob is trying to convince his wives to leave, that means he already KNOWS the direction he is to go and wants their approval. Asking for confirmation is different than asking for approval. Seeking confirmation means you're seeking godly input to know and do God's will. Seeking approval means you're seeking to escape the responsibility of a hard choice.

Gen. 31:10-13 – [Jacob continued,] “In breeding season I once had a dream in which I looked up and saw that the male goats mating with the flock were streaked, speckled or spotted. The angel of God said to me in the dream, 'Jacob.' I answered, 'Here I am.' And he said, 'Look up and see that all the male goats mating with the flock are streaked, speckled or spotted, for I have seen all that Laban has been doing to you. I am the God of Bethel, where you anointed a pillar and where you made a vow to me. Now leave this land at once and go back to your native land.'” (emphasis added)

• God had told Jacob some time ago, in a past breeding season (June-September), that he was supposed to leave Laban's household “at once.” But Jacob didn't leave – for months and possibly for years. We know from Gen. 31:19 that Jacob flees Laban's household during shearing season – spring – but since Jacob says “In breeding season I ONCE had a dream,” I get the impression it happened before last season. When God says “at once,” how long does it take you to respond?

Gen. 31:14-16 – “Then Rachel and Leah replied, 'Do we still have any share in the inheritance of our father's estate? Does he not regard us as foreigners? Not only has he sold us, but he has used up what was paid for us. Surely all the wealth that God took away from our father belongs to us and our children. So do whatever God has told you.'” (emphasis added)

• Jacob's wives finally agree on one thing. They've been treated badly by their father – and that's their singular motivation for agreeing to Jacob's plan. When we seek counsel to help us make a godly decision, make sure it's godly counsel without selfish motivation.

Gen. 31:17-21 – “Then Jacob put his children and his wives on camels, and he drove all his livestock ahead of him, along with all the goods he had accumulated in Paddan Aram, to go to his father Isaac in the land of Canaan. When Laban had gone to shear his sheep, Rachel stole her father's household gods. Moreover, Jacob deceived Laban the Aramean by not telling him he was running away. So he fled with all he had, and crossing the River, he headed for the hill country of Gilead.” (emphasis added)

• When Jacob received all the confirmation necessary to finally act on God's direction, He messed up his obedience with petty sin. The thread of deception was still woven deeply into Jacob's character.

Lord, I don't want to get it right just to get it wrong. It's so easy to let my guard down at the last moment and lose the high ground we've worked together to achieve. Help me to finish well, Father. To make the hard decisions, endure difficult conversations, choose the right thing – and be totally obedient and pleasing in not only my actions, but also my methods.

GOOD BOSS, BAD BOSS

I've lost count of the number of bosses I've worked for over the years. I was only sixteen when I got my first REAL job, and my twenty-something boss spent the first two weeks flirting with me mercilessly. I've worked for good bosses and bad bosses – the definition of which I assign mostly by the condition of the work environment. A good boss encourages camaraderie between employees, so that a sense of justice and security can emerge in the workplace. A bad boss keeps his/her workers continually on edge, watching like a hawk for the next mistake or opportunity for blame. While working for a good boss, I've been encouraged, complimented, challenged to learn new things. My “bad boss” experiences have left me feeling defeated, worthless and questioning my abilities. So why all the talk about little greasy-haired dweebs in polyester suits? (Sorry, couldn't resist the stereotyping) Well, because Laban was sort of Jacob's boss, and he was a lousy master. But it occurred to me that the way Jacob reacted to his bad-boss, Laban, is similar to the way I react to God sometimes. So I had to ask myself, do I envision God as a good Boss or a bad Boss? Hmmmm…

Gen. 30:25-26 – “After Rachel gave birth to Joseph, Jacob said to Laban, 'Send me on my way so I can go back to my own homeland. Give me my wives and children, for whom I have served you, and I will be on my way. You know how much work I've done for you.'”

• SERVANT RATHER THAN SON – Jacob requested his freedom as if he were an indentured servant – not a son. He'd evidently never felt a part of Laban's family even after marrying both Laban's daughters over fourteen years prior. When we accept Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, we become children of God – but do we truly feel/act like children, or do we still feel/act like servants? A servant MUST work and hopes to be released from duty after a time. A family member never “retires” from the family.

Gen. 30:27-33 – “But Laban said to him, 'If I have found favor in your eyes, please stay. I have learned by divination that the LORD has blessed me because of you.' He added, 'Name your wages, and I will pay them.' Jacob said to him, 'You know how I have worked for you and how your livestock has fared under my care. The little you had before I came has increased greatly, and the LORD has blessed you wherever I have been. But now, when may I do something for my own household?' 'What shall I give you?' he asked. 'Don't give me anything,' Jacob replied. 'But if you will do this one thing for me, I will go on tending your flocks and watching over them: Let me go through all your flocks today and remove from them every speckled or spotted sheep, every dark-colored lamb and every spotted or speckled goat. They will be my wages. And my honesty will testify for me in the future, whenever you check on the wages you have paid me. Any goat in my possession that is not speckled or spotted, or any lamb that is not dark-colored, will be considered stolen.'” (emphasis added)

• WORK RATHER THAN GIFTS – Jacob refuses to allow Laban to GIVE him anything. He shuns Laban's gift because of past baggage, and instead, Jacob bargains for more work, thinking he has a fool-proof way to earn his freedom. To shun a deceiver's gift is wise; however, sometimes we shun God's gracious gifts in order to feel as though we've earned His pleasure or approval. Working FOR God is not only unnecessary, it's counter-productive to our faith in a gracious God.

Gen. 30:34-43 – “'Agreed,' said Laban. 'Let it be as you have said.' That same day he removed all the male goats that were streaked or spotted, and all the speckled or spotted female goats (all that had white on them) and all the dark-colored lambs, and he placed them in the care of his sons. Then he put a three-day journey between himself and Jacob, while Jacob continued to tend the rest of Laban's flocks. Jacob, however, took fresh-cut branches from poplar, almond and plane trees and made white stripes on them by peeling the bark and exposing the white inner wood of the branches. Then he placed the peeled branches in all the watering troughs, so that they would be directly in front of the flocks when they came to drink. When the flocks were in heat and came to drink, they mated in front of the branches. And they bore young that were streaked or speckled or spotted. Jacob set apart the young of the flock by themselves, but made the rest face the streaked and dark-colored animals that belonged to Laban. Thus he made separate flocks for himself and did not put them with Laban's animals. Whenever the stronger females were in heat, Jacob would place the branches in the troughs in front of the animals so they would mate near the branches, but if the animals were weak, he would not place them there. So the weak animals went to Laban and the strong ones to Jacob. In this way the man grew exceedingly prosperous and came to own large flocks, and maidservants and menservants, and camels and donkeys.”

• SILENCE RATHER THAN CONFRONTATION – Rather than confronting Laban when he was cheated again, Jacob followed old wives' tales and tried to solve the problem using his own methods. When we have been repeatedly disappointed, we sometimes become angry or disillusioned and even blame God. Though the LORD never cheats us or deals with us dishonestly, when we seek our own solutions and refuse to ask for God's help, it's similar to Jacob's silent treatment.

Lord, teach me to voice my disappointments and confusion to You, no matter how upset or confused I might be – with You or others. Remind me that in EVERY WAY, You are more than a good Boss – You are a loving Father, who wants the very best for me. Every circumstance you allow into my life is fashioned to strengthen, teach and shape me into the image of Jesus Christ.

REASONABLE EXPECTATIONS

“Reasonable expectations.” It's a tricky phrase, isn't it? I'm sure there are legal cases piled up in courtrooms across the country, debating what a jury deems “reasonable expectations” for contracted services, purchases and even relationships. Our family's reasonable expectation involved a baker, a cake, a wedding and 125 guests. Almost nine months ago, our daughter, Emily, and her fiancé met with the owner of a local bakery to discuss wedding cake options. They were impressed with the man's portfolio and tasted three flavors of cake and several delightful icings. They eagerly signed a contract, leaving the suggested cash deposit. Three months in advance of the wedding, the kids began confirming with the various vendors as was suggested by all the wedding magazines. When they called the bakery, a female voice answered and explained that she had purchased the original baker's business but would honor their deposit and try to do the cake as ordered. Try? Our daughter and her fiancé made a quick trip (4 hours) to the bakery to meet with the new owner and sample her wares. The flavor was adequate, but they were uneasy from the beginning with this new relationship. Fast-forward…to the wedding day. Excitement is mounting. Outdoor wedding. Rain – down-pour – two hours before the ceremony. Cake lady is MIA, AWOL – OMG! An hour late, she shows up. Crying. The middle tier of the 3-tiered cake is completely destroyed. Bumpy Indiana roads in her Jeep Cherokee, she says. Ugh. But here's the key. Two days before, my daughter and I had a “mommy/daughter” breakfast date, and Emily asked me this question: “Mom, are you ready for some BIG emergency on my wedding day?” When I gave her my puzzled stare, she continued. “'Cause you know something will go wrong, and we'll just have to roll with it.” After seeing the cake, I trudged back upstairs, to tell our baby girl that her dream cake was a nightmare. Would she remember her REASONABLE EXPECTATIONS of at least one disaster on this day? She did, and her groom handled it beautifully, too. The skies cleared – no more rain. No more disasters. What are your reasonable expectations?

Gen. 29:14b-20 – “Laban said to [Jacob], 'Just because you are a relative of mine, should you work for me for nothing? Tell me what your wages should be.' Now Laban had two daughters; the name of the older was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel. Leah had weak eyes, but Rachel was lovely in form, and beautiful. Jacob was in love with Rachel and said, 'I'll work for you seven years in return for your younger daughter Rachel.' Laban said, 'It's better that I give her to you than to some other man. Stay here with me.' So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her. (emphasis added)

• From the sound of Laban's lack-luster response, I'm thinking he wasn't thrilled when Jacob proposed Rachel as wages. Wasn't it more reasonable to pay wages in silver or gold, flocks or herds – even servants? But daughters? Laban may have asked for Jacob's input, but it seems he had a pre-determined idea of what was reasonable and he found it difficult to adjust to someone else's plan. Sound familiar?

Gen. 29:21 – “Then Jacob said to Laban, 'Give me my wife. My time is completed, and I want to lie with her.'”

• What might have happened during Jacob's seven years of service to Laban that changed Jacob's tone so completely? The demanding words and voice lead us to believe Jacob might have expected Laban to double-cross him...and he was right. But is a tantrum justified when others threaten our expectations?

Gen. 29:22-30 – “So Laban brought together all the people of the place and gave a feast. But when evening came, he took his daughter Leah and gave her to Jacob, and Jacob lay with her. And Laban gave his servant girl Zilpah to his daughter as her maidservant. When morning came, there was Leah! So Jacob said to Laban, 'What is this you have done to me? I served you for Rachel, didn't I? Why have you deceived me?' Laban replied, 'It is not our custom here to give the younger daughter in marriage before the older one. Finish this daughter's bridal week; then we will give you the younger one also, in return for another seven years of work.' And Jacob did so. He finished the week with Leah, and then Laban gave him his daughter Rachel to be his wife. Laban gave his servant girl Bilhah to his daughter Rachel as her maidservant. Jacob lay with Rachel also, and he loved Rachel more than Leah. And he worked for Laban another seven years.”

• Even though Jacob expected it, Laban found a way to double-cross him. Sometimes people live up to our low expectations, and the pain crashes into our lives and others' – creating dominoes of expectations for generations. How did Leah feel when her new husband railed at being “stuck” with her? How did Rachel feel at being passed over because she was the younger sister? When reasonable expectations are dashed, it's seldom only one person who is hurt.

Lord, when I'm disappointed, teach me to turn to You for comfort first – before I rant and rail. Give me perspective. Show me Your heavenly view of REASONABLE before I allow my self-justification to bully those who might be harmed in the stampede. Help me to mourn my lost expectations, allowing You to comfort me in the true and real grief I feel. Finally, as I regain my sense of Your presence, help me to minister to others – now more effective because I've felt the sting of dashed expectations and the touch of Your comfort.

COINCIDENCE OR GOD‟S GUIDING HAND

Coincidence. Fate. Destiny. Do we live in a random bubble of events that sometimes intersect, or are our paths already mapped out by a Creator's sovereign design? In the famous words of sage philosopher, Forrest Gump, “I think it's both.” Do humans have free will to choose or does God employ His sovereign will? I say with gusto, “YES!” and then tilt my head with a thoroughly puzzled stare. “How?” Hmmmmm, I don't know. Let me illustrate my absolutely confident uncertainty. I recently spent a weekend at a beach house with my two writing buddies. Each of them experiences God in a special way through nature from time to time through a particular symbol. One gal often sees a deer in her yard or a nearby field. For the other, a rainbow often appears where nothing but clouds should be - as in the picture above. Why a rainbow on a completely sunny day - in the shape of a cross, no less?

My friends aren't superstitious or hyper-spiritual about these “signs.” They simply have noticed God's special “kiss” through the years in these tender revelations. We three had come together for the weekend to work on writing projects; however, all our hearts were heavily burdened with life. When we went to a restaurant for dinner, we noticed two deer running down the sidewalk! Please understand, this is in the middle of a busy beach town – on Main Street! Coincidence? Or was my friend's Heavenly Father comforting her with His presence? The next day we went for a long walk on the beach, taking lots of pictures on a sunny afternoon. I took a picture of my second friend with the sun glaring above, and when we replayed the digital image – a rainbow ringed the sun behind her. Coincidence? Or was her Heavenly Father comforting her with His presence? I don't have a particular “sign” that assures me of God's presence or work in my life, but I thoroughly enjoyed watching my friends bask in His impromptu kisses. As we walked back to the beach house, I noticed a veritable garden of rocks – smooth stones planted on the beach, worn by the tide's sand and water. I immediately thought of my mom. She loves rocks and collects a rock from everywhere she travels. I began praying for her and thought of her often throughout the rest of the weekend. Coincidence? Or was my Heavenly Father prompting me to pray for my mom, who was struggling with her own battles at the time? Well, my answer is: God guides the deer, the rainbow and the tide; but I choose to recognize His hand on my life…

Gen. 29:1-4 – “Then Jacob continued on his journey and came to the land of the eastern peoples. There he saw a well in the field, with three flocks of sheep lying near it because the flocks were watered from that well. The stone over the mouth of the well was large. When all the flocks were gathered there, the shepherds would roll the stone away from the well's mouth and water the sheep. Then they would return the stone to its place over the mouth of the well. Jacob asked the shepherds, 'My brothers, where are you from?' 'We're from Haran,' they replied.” (emphasis added)

• Please remember – no camel, no GPS, map or compass, and no convenience stores along the way. Jacob lived most of his life “among the tents” (Gen. 25:27), so I'm guessing he was no Daniel Boone either. The journey from Isaac's camp in Beersheba to Haran was approximately 600 miles (as the crow flies), and the average speed of travel on foot is twenty miles a day. You do the math. All Jacob saw at this point was a well and three flocks of sheep with their shepherds – in the middle of a field – somewhere in the east. How many left turns and right forks in the road did Jacob make before arriving in Haran? Did he pray about each one or make the decisions on his own? Out of the thousands of choices we make each day, which ones are covered in prayer?

Gen. 29:5-8 – “He said to them, 'Do you know Laban, Nahor's grandson?'
'Yes, we know him,' they answered.
Then Jacob asked them, 'Is he well?'
'Yes, he is,' they said, 'and here comes his daughter Rachel with the sheep.'
'Look,' he said, 'the sun is still high; it is not time for the flocks to be gathered. Water the sheep and take them back to pasture.'
'We can't,' they replied, 'until all the flocks are gathered and the stone has been rolled away from the mouth of the well. Then we will water the sheep.'” (emphasis added)

• Jacob seems a little bossy for a newcomer, eh? He shows up, asks a few questions and immediately orders the other three shepherds to take their sheep and get lost when he sees lovely Rachel approaching. Why? Did he have an animal husbandry degree, perhaps an expert in the care of livestock? Or did he simply seek privacy with Rachel? No matter. His not-so-subtle attempt at privacy failed, and Jacob would have an audience for his testimony, witnesses to the story of his past. Considering Jacob's deceitful history, was it coincidence that he was pushed into the humbling accountability corner?

Gen. 29:9-12 – “While he was still talking with them, Rachel came with her father's sheep, for she was a shepherdess. When Jacob saw Rachel daughter of Laban, his mother's brother, and Laban's sheep, he went over and rolled the stone away from the mouth of the well and watered his uncle's sheep. Then Jacob kissed Rachel and began to weep aloud. He had told Rachel that he was a relative of her father and a son of Rebekah. So she ran and told her father.”

• Was it a coincidence that Rachel came to the well at the precise moment that he arrived? Think of the echoes of this one kiss, each decision in Jacob's and Rachel's lives leading up to it and each moment after. Rachel thought she was just going to the well to water the flock – AGAIN – but this mundane, daily activity changed her life forever.

Gen. 29:13-14 – “As soon as Laban heard the news about Jacob, his sister's son, he hurried to meet him. He embraced him and kissed him and brought him to his home, and there Jacob told him all these things. Then Laban said to him, 'You are my own flesh and blood.'”

• I'm guessing Laban remembered a similar scenario when his sister Rebekah had gone for water and returned with Abraham's servant, who had come to secure a bride for Abraham's son, Isaac (Gen. 24:29-30). Now, decades later (some think Jacob was 75-80 years-old when he fled to Haran), Laban welcomes Jacob – the fruit of Isaac and Rebekah's union – who also met God‟s choice by Haran's well.

Lord, how many times in my day do You work…and I miss it? How many amazing displays of Your power and presence do I let slip by unnoticed because I'm too busy, too skeptical or too downtrodden to believe You would reveal Yourself in such a bold way to ME? Teach me to look for You in the ordinariness of my day. Open my eyes to the God-happenings around me.

THE NECK-BONE CONNECTED TO THE HEAD-BONE

One of my all-time favorite movies is “My Big Fat Greek Wedding,” and it boasts one of my all-time favorite lines. “Men may be the head of the house but women are the neck, and the neck can turn the head any way she wants.” Can I hear an AMEN, Sista! Oops, wait a minute. God gets a little cranky with the Israelites in the Old Testament for being “stiff-necked,” so we'd probably better be careful with the neck illustration…. But here's my question for the day: what if you're a do-er in a watch-er's world? What if you‟re a planner, and no one else sees or implements a plan? I'm thinking if the head isn't thinking, the neck had better be turning it – right? Hmmm, that's what Sister Rebekah thought, but I'm not sure her methods were on the up-and-up.

Gen. 27:41-42 – “Esau held a grudge against Jacob because of the blessing his father had given him. He said to himself, 'The days of mourning for my father are near; then I will kill my brother Jacob.' When Rebekah was told what her older son Esau had said, she sent for her younger son Jacob and said to him, 'Your brother Esau is consoling himself with the thought of killing you.'”

• Isn't it fascinating that Esau "said to himself," and yet someone heard his whispered thoughts and immediately reported them to Rebekah? How did Rebekah inspire this kind of loyalty? Was it fear? Reward? Or were people naturally drawn to her strong personality and decisive leadership? We can‟t discern from Scripture, but I've met these Type A people in my world…and they make me nervous. Without proper checks and balances, their strengths can become weaknesses and devastate many.

Gen. 27:43-45 – [Rebekah said to Jacob] “'Now then, my son, do what I say: Flee at once to my brother Laban in Haran. Stay with him for a while until your brother's fury subsides. When your brother is no longer angry with you and forgets what you did to him, I'll send word for you to come back from there. Why should I lose both of you in one day?'
Then Rebekah said to Isaac, 'I'm disgusted with living because of these Hittite women. If Jacob takes a wife from among the women of this land, from Hittite women like these, my life will not be worth living.'”

• It seems this woman moved into protection mode without so much as a pause. And without allowing Jacob even a syllable of rebuttal, she marched into her husband's tent, voicing her concerns. I don't know if I'm appalled at her audacity or stirred by her resourcefulness. Is she helping God or pushing her own agenda? Wasn't it her duty to protect her family when she anticipated danger? Should she have kept silent and let God handle it or taken matters into her own hands? What would YOU do?

Gen. 28:1-5 – “So Isaac called for Jacob and blessed him and commanded him: 'Do not marry a Canaanite woman. Go at once to Paddan Aram, to the house of your mother's father Bethuel. Take a wife for yourself there, from among the daughters of Laban, your mother's brother. May God Almighty bless you and make you fruitful and increase your numbers until you become a community of peoples. May he give you and your descendants the blessing given to Abraham, so that you may take possession of the land where you now live as an alien, the land God gave to Abraham.' Then Isaac sent Jacob on his way, and he went to Paddan Aram, to Laban son of Bethuel the Aramean, the brother of Rebekah, who was the mother of Jacob and Esau.” (emphasis added)

• Hmmm. Seems the head finally found its spine. Yes, Isaac did exactly what Rebekah (Mrs. Neck) manipulated him into doing (commanded Jacob to marry someone from Laban's household). However, he also added a blessing to Jacob's departure – a true blessing, meant for this youngest son. Read the richness of the blessing Isaac bestows on Jacob – the inclusion of Abraham's Covenant with Yahweh. Can you imagine the joy Jacob felt at finally receiving his father's attention and approval? Can you imagine the joy Rebekah felt, seeing her husband willingly fulfill the prophecy God had given her when their twin sons jostled in her womb? (Gen. 25:22-26)

Gen. 27:6-9 – “Now Esau learned that Isaac had blessed Jacob and had sent him to Paddan Aram to take a wife from there, and that when he blessed him he commanded him, 'Do not marry a Canaanite woman,' and that Jacob had obeyed his father and mother and had gone to Paddan Aram. Esau then realized how displeasing the Canaanite women were to his father Isaac; so he went to Ishmael and married Mahalath, the sister of Nebaioth and daughter of Ishmael son of Abraham, in addition to the wives he already had.”

• As if Esau didn't have enough trouble, he went and married another neck! And an Ishmaelite neck at that! These verses further illustrate Esau's lack of integrity and God's righteous choice in stripping away Abraham's Covenant from the firstborn. Though human hands tainted the process, still the right man received God's Promise.

Lord, I'm so thankful You're bigger than my mistakes, my sins and my limited understanding. You're even bigger than my over-zealous nature – when I try to fix things for You. I don't want to be a neck in our relationship. I want to be Your hands and feet, ministering to others in Your Name. I want to be Your heart, caring for others as You love them. I want to be Your eyes, seeing the world around me as You see it.

MULLIGANS, DO-OVERS AND TURNING BACK THE CLOCK

I felt so sorry for the soloist at a little church, where my husband was guest speaking recently. The ushers came forward for the offertory prayer, and after a hearty “amen” from the congregation, music began filtering through the speakers. One look at the soloist, and everyone knew – it was the wrong music. She stood like a statue – gray and unmoving – with a stricken expression. The sound tech didn't get it. She then began a series of silent nods and furrowed brow communications to the man behind the “play” button (who happened to be her husband – poor brute). When the non-verbals failed, she lifted the microphone to her lips and said defeatedly, “It's the wrong song.” Her cheeks and ears were fire-engine-red by the time the right soundtrack popped and ground out the beginning melody. Her first notes floated on shaky vocals, but she sang it. A sweet offering of faithfulness in the face of those too familiar technical demons.

It was a classic do-over. It's called a “mulligan” in the game of golf – quite a handy little tool in which you can almost turn back the hands of time and pretend the first attempt, the first mistake, didn't happen. Oh, how Isaac and Esau wished life offered mulligans…

Gen. 27:28-29 – [Jacob deceived his father, Isaac, and as a result Isaac blessed Jacob with the blessing he meant to give Esau] “'…May God give you of heaven's dew and of earth's richness – an abundance of grain and new wine. May nations serve you and peoples bow down to you. Be lord over your brothers, and may the sons of your mother bow down to you. May those who curse you be cursed and those who bless you be blessed.'”

• It's difficult for our modern Western culture to grasp this idea of the Middle Eastern firstborn's blessing. This pronouncement was a holy mantle of responsibility originally passed from Abraham to Isaac – and one that would need to be maintained for generations to come. For whatever reason, Isaac had determined in his heart to give that blessing to Esau. Five times he tested the son now standing in his tent - making sure it was Esau. This was no small decision and no small “mistake.”

Gen. 27:30-31 – “After Isaac finished blessing him and Jacob had scarcely left his father's presence, his brother Esau came in from hunting. He too prepared some tasty food and brought it to his father. Then he said to him, 'My father, sit up and eat some of my game, so that you may give me your blessing.'” (emphasis added)

• Don't miss the irony in this. If Esau had arrived just moments earlier, he could have exposed Jacob's deception. But time ticks away in God's capable hands, to be lived once – and only once – in sequence, without do-overs or wasted regrets.

Gen. 27:32-35 – “His father Isaac asked him, 'Who are you?'
'I am your son,' he answered, 'your firstborn, Esau.'
Isaac trembled violently and said, 'Who was it, then, that hunted game and brought it to me? I ate it just before you came and I blessed him – and indeed he will be blessed!'
When Esau heard his father's words, he burst out with a loud and bitter cry and said to his father, 'Bless me – me too, my father!'
But he said, 'Your brother came deceitfully and took your blessing.'”

• I believe this is the singular moment when Isaac realized how completely he had loved Esau and slighted Jacob. But I'm not sure Isaac regretted his prejudice. I think Isaac realized the totality of blessing he bestowed on the favored son because it left the TRUE Esau without a future – and THAT caused him sorrow. But if Isaac had succeeded in blessing Esau, Jacob would have been left destitute. Would Isaac have cared? Was there now – or would there ever be – any repentance in Isaac's heart for the prejudicial treatment of Jacob?

Gen. 27:36-38 – “Esau said, 'Isn't he rightly named Jacob [figuratively, grasps the heel or he deceives]? He has deceived me these two times: He took my birthright, and now he's taken my blessing!' Then he asked, 'Haven't you reserved any blessing for me?'
Isaac answered Esau, 'I have made him lord over you and have made all his relatives his servants, and I have sustained him with grain and new wine. So what can I possibly do for you, my son?'
Esau said to his father, 'Do you have only one blessing, my father? Bless me too, my father!' Then Esau wept aloud.” (emphasis added)

• It seems Esau has spent most of his life feeling as if he was Isaac's only son – the manly man, the firstborn, the favored. Suddenly, the idea of Isaac having only ONE isn't so appealing. Esau's worst enemy has taken the ONE treasure. When ONE includes you, ONE seems fine. When ONE excludes you, ONE is pretty awful.

Gen. 27:39-40 – “His father Isaac answered [Esau], 'Your dwelling will be away from the earth's richness, away from the dew of heaven above. You will live by the sword and you will serve your brother. But when you grow restless, you will throw his yoke from off your neck.'” (emphasis added)

• No mulligans. No do-overs. No turning back the clock. The ultimate blessing was given to Jacob, and Esau will get the best blessing his father can give him under the circumstances – separation from his brother. Sometimes when we can't do it over, we must do it completely different.

Lord, when no amount of fixing or re-doing will help, please direct those big blunders to innovative endings. Show me when separation becomes the best solution. Let me rest in Your ability to speak louder than my ignorance and work in spite of my mistakes. Remind me at all times that You are all-knowing, all-powerful and perfect in love and wisdom – no matter how big of a mess things have become.

HAIRY AND HEEL-BOY

And he shall be called, "שיניים גדולות." (That's "Big Teeth" for my non-Hebrew speaking friends.) Can you imagine if we named our children according to what they looked like at birth? Did you ever give much thought to the names of your someday-children – you know, when you were still a kid yourself? One of my daughters has had the number of children, their genders and their names mapped out since she was nine years-old. When I asked if perhaps she should find a husband first, she assured me that her someday-husband would be informed of the children's names before they were married. “He can name any extras,” she added. I smiled and nodded. What could I say? She inherited the baby-naming gene from her father. He heard “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow” read aloud as a youth and fell madly in love with the name, Katrina Van Tassel – then and there deciding his firstborn daughter's name would be Katrina. I suppose I should be thankful he didn't want to make her middle name “Van Tassel.” Hmmmm. I'm extremely thankful we didn't have a boy named Ichabod. When our second daughter came along, we used a much more scientific method of naming. I stomped my foot and insisted that it was my turn to name her since my husband named the first one. He agreed much too quickly, leaving me full of bluster and empty-headed. I'd always liked the name “Emily” and didn't know anyone by that name, so we went with it. So which is better/worse? Intentional planning or seat-of-the-pants gestures? Read on, and answer after you read about Isaac's and Rebekah's twin boys.

Gen. 25:24-26 – “When the time came for [Rebekah] to give birth, there were twin boys in her womb. The first to come out was red, and his whole body was like a hairy garment; so they named him Esau. After this, his brother came out, with his hand grasping Esau's heel; so he was named Jacob. Isaac was sixty years old when Rebekah gave birth to them.”

• You'd think by age sixty, Isaac would have learned to call on God when so much of this culture's character was built on their names; but God's involvement is not mentioned. Esau means, “hairy.” Jacob means, “he grasps the heel;” figuratively, “he deceives.” Can you hear Rebekah calling the boys for lunch? “Come on, Hairy and Heel-Boy, your lentil stew is getting cold!” Maybe more accurately: “Hairy and my little liar, get in here!” A single decision can affect entire lifetimes – ours and others. The words we choose can build and/or destroy character. Why not stop and consult the Creator before our words create lasting regret?

Gen. 25:27-28 – “The boys grew up, and Esau became a skillful hunter, a man of the open country, while Jacob was a quiet man, staying among the tents. Isaac, who had a taste for wild game, loved Esau, but Rebekah loved Jacob.”

• Do you think Isaac and Rebekah sat down one night, when the twins were infants, and said, “Okay, you love this one, and I'll love that one?” Isaac's love for Esau grew out of his own selfish appetite, and don't you imagine Rebekah's love for Jacob grew from their extended time together in camp? Life happened to this family. Love grew wild, haphazardly – unattended. When life happens unintentionally, sin enters proportionately. I've heard it said, “We can't choose who we love.” Perhaps. But we can make smart choices about how we spend our time, and we can be intentional about showing love to those the Lord has placed in our lives.

Gen. 25:29-34 – “Once when Jacob was cooking some stew, Esau came in from the open country, famished. He said to Jacob, 'Quick, let me have some of that red stew! I'm famished!' (That is why he was also called Edom.) Jacob replied, 'First sell me your birthright.' 'Look, I am about to die,' Esau said. 'What good is the birthright to me?' But Jacob said, 'Swear to me first.' So he swore an oath to him, selling his birthright to Jacob. Then Jacob gave Esau some bread and some lentil stew. He ate and drank, and then got up and left. So Esau despised his birthright.” (emphasis added)

• Though it's difficult for our Western culture to fully understand the ancient Middle-Eastern concept of birthright, here are a few of the perks Esau conceded to his brother for a bowl of lentil stew:

1. A unique “firstborn” standing before God
2. Second only to his parents in honor among those in camp
3. A double portion of their father's inheritance
4. Governing the family upon his father's death
5. Serving as the priest or God-representative of the family (http://studylight.org/com/acc/view.cgi?book=ge&chapter=25&verse=34#Ge25_34)
   

• Jacob hit the jackpot for his bean-soup recipe! Of the four characters in today's devotional, Jacob seems to be the only one showing some intentionality – misguided though it may be. But wait – who taught Jacob the importance of the birthright? Perhaps Ima Rebekah wasn't as “unintentional” as I accused her of being. Hmmm. Did Esau's nonchalant attitude come from Isaac's lack of spiritual emphasis/training, or was it because of an innate character flaw? Esau's underlying reason for the choice is uncertain, but his attitude is clearly stated. Esau DESPISED, DISDAINED, REGARDED WITH CONTEMPT something God considered holy, and his decision would echo through generations and nations.

Lord, open my eyes to see those things in my life, in my world – in me – that are precious in Your sight. Teach me NOT to despise what You count as holy but to treasure it, intentionally tend it and carefully guard it. Help me pause before a decision, enabling me to see the scope and breadth of its reaches.