SEARCHING FOR MORE

When do we begin yearning for MORE? I think it begins when we‘re children – as was evidenced by my own little cherubs. We started the Christmas tradition of advent boxes when our girls were in first grade and pre-school. Each day, from December 1-24, our family: 1) read a selected Scripture, 2) shared a short Christmas story, and 3) opened one 1"x 2"x 3" box containing a small gift. The gifts might be coins or pieces of candy, sometimes even a colored "pill" – the outer shell of which dissolved in warm water to reveal a little foam animal. At first each gift was met with wide-eyed enthusiasm, but as the girls grew older they searched for MORE. By the time they reached fourth grade and first grade, our little angels were scowling at the coins and tossing the pills aside. They wanted MORE. So the next year, we made advent a scavenger hunt, filling the advent boxes with clues as to where bigger gifts were hidden in the house. A few years later, our girls outsmarted us and found the gifts before the advent boxes were opened. So once again, we had to find a way to deliver MORE. We began placing wrapped gifts under the tree and numbering them in correlation with the advent box number. We tucked into the advent boxes snappy little poems that gave clues about the gift in the corresponding wrapped gift. This advent strategy has proven most effective and is still in use today – when our girls are in their mid twenties! (The above photo displaying some of our little silly gifts still in use and the fact that our new son-in-law also finds this tradition fascinating!) However, now that our kids are grown, we've all discovered there's just something missing about Christmas. We remember how special Christmas was when children's laughter rang out when they opened their gifts. Wouldn't it be nice to have some grand-kids around? Hmmm, maybe even grown-ups want MORE….

Gen. 35:1 – "Then God said to Jacob, 'Go up to Bethel and settle there…'"

• Jacob went to Bethel. He built an altar, Rebekah's nurse (Deborah) died and God reaffirmed both His covenant and new name to Israel. But instead of obeying God's command to settle in Bethel…

Gen. 35:16-20 – "Then they moved on from Bethel. While they were still some distance from Ephrath, Rachel began to give birth and had great difficulty. And as she was having great difficulty in childbirth, the midwife said to her, 'Don't be afraid, for you have another son.' As she breathed her last—for she was dying—she named her son Ben-Oni. But his father named him Benjamin. So Rachel died and was buried on the way to Ephrath (that is, Bethlehem). Over her tomb Jacob set up a pillar, and to this day that pillar marks Rachel's tomb."

• Rachel's death was the first of three tragedies that befell Jacob after he left Bethel. I had always imagined Rachel's death as God's punishment for Jacob's sin. But perhaps she died simply because Jacob didn't heed God's practical directive to SETTLE in Bethel because his pregnant wife was on the verge of childbirth. Sometimes God's commands are purely practical in nature. Many Old Testament Laws (Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy) were given to establish sanitation and health practices for a nomadic nation. When the Lord lays a command on our hearts, oftentimes His motive is not to squelch our fun or prove His power – but rather to protect us from all sorts of potential harm.

Gen. 35:21-26 – "Israel moved on again and pitched his tent beyond Migdal Eder. While Israel was living in that region, Reuben went in and slept with his father's concubine Bilhah, and Israel heard of it. Jacob had twelve sons: The sons of Leah: Reuben the firstborn of Jacob, Simeon, Levi, Judah, Issachar and Zebulun. The sons of Rachel: Joseph and Benjamin. The sons of Rachel's maidservant Bilhah: Dan and Naphtali. The sons of Leah's maidservant Zilpah: Gad and Asher. These were the sons of Jacob, who were born to him in Paddan Aram." (emphasis added)

• Consider the grief each person felt at Rachel's loss. Jacob had loved Rachel since the moment he saw her, and imagine Bilhah's grief at the death of her lifelong mistress. Rather than making camp at Ephrath (Bethlehem), Jacob pressed on, moving his family during their grief. Consider this. Would Reuben have slept with Bilhah if Jacob's clan had settled in Bethel as God commanded? Of course, we cannot know the exact circumstances that drew Reuben and Bilhah together, and they are responsible before God for their choice to sin; however, did Jacob's disobedience play a part in their liaison? Maybe Bilhah was despondent at Rachel's death and Jacob, because of his own grief, was insensitive to the needs of others. Perhaps Reuben had simply meant to comfort Bilhah, or maybe as Jacob's firstborn, Reuben saw the opportunity to gain MORE than the firstborn's share and take his father's wife. Sometimes one decision sets into motion a series of dire consequences. Notice Scripture records nothing of Jacob's reaction to the news of Reuben's infidelity. Only a recounting of Jacob's children punctuates the scene, affirming that his family remains – hurting and broken as it was.

Gen. 35:27-29 – "Jacob came home to his father Isaac in Mamre, near Kiriath Arba (that is, Hebron), where Abraham and Isaac had stayed. Isaac lived a hundred and eighty years. Then he breathed his last and died and was gathered to his people, old and full of years. And his sons Esau and Jacob buried him."

• It seems Jacob's search for MORE finally ended when he arrived at his father's side. But his satisfaction was fleeting. Isaac died shortly after Jacob arrived and left him face-to-face with his brother, Esau. Jacob had twelve sons, three wives and the wealth of his household, but at what cost? His father was gone, his beloved Rachel dead, and the brother he had deceived repeatedly stared at him over their father's grave. What MORE could fill Jacob's heart now? Where did he turn to seek new hope for the rest of his days? The desire for MORE must be focused beyond the temporal things of this world.

Lord, I yearn and search for MORE, and then when I reach the goal – it often feels hollow or only satisfies for a short time. Teach me the contentment of obedience, the utter satisfaction of living in perfect harmony with Your desire for me. Teach me to be still when You ask me to settle and to step out when you call me to action.

A WOVEN MOMENT

It's sort of like déjà vu – but different. A woven moment occurs when events from your past converge in a single moment, weaving together an indelible new moment. Woven moments often happen during landmark events in our lives: weddings, funerals, reunions of all sorts. In the weeks and months leading up to our daughter's recent wedding, I experienced many woven moments, but one stands apart. One evening when Emily was home from college on Christmas break, we unearthed my twenty-six year-old wedding gown, broke open the sealed package, and she tried it on. Tears instantly sprang to my eyes. It was a woven moment. Memories of her dad's and my wedding bombarded me. And then I saw our little girl on her first day of kindergarten, her golden curls bouncing as she ran down the stairs with her sister. Then came those difficult teen years, rushing back in a cacophony of victory as I watched the love of Jesus now sparkle in her eyes. This new moment, forever etched in my mind, standing in my wedding gown. (A perfect fit, BTW – was I ever really that skinny?) Woven moments are most incredible because they aren't simply a one-time stitch – they're a lifetime tapestry. Less than six months later, I was blessed with another woven moment. My husband walked our daughter down a grassy aisle in her own wedding gown, a new moment added to the events that will weave into the next and next and next tapestry we share. God allows us to experience a little bit of Jacob's tapestry, Jacob‟s woven moments on his way to Bethel…

Gen. 35:1-3 – “Then God said to Jacob, 'Go up to Bethel and settle there, and build an altar there to God, who appeared to you when you were fleeing from your brother Esau.' So Jacob said to his household and to all who were with him, 'Get rid of the foreign gods you have with you, and purify yourselves and change your clothes. Then come, let us go up to Bethel, where I will build an altar to God, who answered me in the day of my distress and who has been with me wherever I have gone.'” (emphasis added)

• Jacob is terrified that his sons' rash attack on Shechem will bring vengeance from the Canaanites – just as he feared Esau‟s vengeance 20+ years ago. Notice that Jacob addressed “his household” and “all who were with him.” He was staring into the faces of the Shechemite women and children that his sons took captive. His deceitful history and his sons‟ sins stared back at him. But he CHOSE to focus on God's promise rather than his own fear or failure. His woven moment is one of purposely, consciously remembering God's faithfulness and moving forward.

Gen. 35:4-8 – “So they gave Jacob all the foreign gods they had and the rings in their ears, and Jacob buried them under the oak at Shechem. Then they set out, and the terror of God fell upon the towns all around them so that no one pursued them. Jacob and all the people with him came to Luz (that is, Bethel) in the land of Canaan. There he built an altar, and he called the place El Bethel, because it was there that God revealed himself to him when he was fleeing from his brother. Now Deborah, Rebekah’s nurse, died and was buried under the oak below Bethel. So it was named Allon Bacuth.” (emphasis added)

• Surely, in this collecting of ALL foreign gods, Rachel surrendered the household gods she had stolen from her father, Laban (Gen. 31:34). Was this the first Jacob knew of Rachel's thievery or idolatry? How would Rachel have felt about giving up the idols? Did it put a wedge between her and Jacob? Soon after arriving in Bethel, Jacob buried the woman who would have been his wet-nurse, Deborah – another strong female relationship in his life…strong enough to mention in the biblical record. Both the idols and Deborah were buried under oak trees. Though a spiritual victory for God at Shechem – overcoming idolatry – the personal turmoil for Jacob may have caused a few knots in this woven moment. Sometimes the best strategy for knot removal is simply to submit to the Master Weaver's hands and wait. Woven moments aren't always free of snags, but they can all be made beautiful by the Master.

Gen. 35:9-10 – “After Jacob returned from Paddan Aram, God appeared to him again and blessed him. God said to him, 'Your name is Jacob, but you will no longer be called Jacob; your name will be Israel.' So he named him Israel.”

• God reminds Jacob that he is named, “Struggles with God.” Why? My guess is: Because Jacob was struggling with God. Let's face it, life's been hard. Dinah was raped. His sons just killed and captured an entire city of innocent people. And then Jacob's mother-figure (Deborah) died. Wouldn't you be struggling with God? So in this woven moment, God calls Jacob to recall the wrestling match on the riverbank of the Jabbok. And with the memory of struggle came a renewed assurance of blessing.

Gen. 35:11-15 – “And God said to him, 'I am God Almighty; be fruitful and increase in number. A nation and a community of nations will come from you, and kings will come from your body. The land I gave to Abraham and Isaac I also give to you, and I will give this land to your descendants after you.' Then God went up from him at the place where he had talked with him. Jacob set up a stone pillar at the place where God had talked with him, and he poured out a drink offering on it; he also poured oil on it. Jacob called the place where God had talked with him Bethel.”

• How many times had Jacob heard his Grandfather Abraham tell the story of God's promise and calling? How many times had Isaac told Jacob of the Land promised to his descendants? Now, the same Almighty God speaks into this woven moment, a tapestry of history with a legacy that will stretch into eternity. The newly named Israel is forever woven into the fabric of his forefathers, the Promised Land and God's story. Just as we are woven into our own stories of family, experience and God's plan.

Lord, open my eyes to more woven moments so I can appreciate the Weaver's Hand. I want to hear Your voice and feel the assurance of your direction as Jacob did. Show me the past events that weave together my current moments into the delicate future You have so carefully planned for me. I want to walk in the beauty of Your very best, Father. Only Your best.

IN THE HEAT OF THE MOMENT

Have you ever wondered how you would respond in an emergency? Maybe you've already been tested in some way, put through the ringer when pressures were high. I often think of stories like Anne Frank and Corrie ten Boom, kept hidden from Nazis by those who were willing – and able – to calmly lie when tensions soared. But my greatest fear is this. Can I tell the truth when tensions are high? So far, I've noticed my first instinct is to lie. Ugh. A telemarketer calls, and asks if I have a moment to talk. I say, “No, I'm getting ready to walk out the door.” Does it matter that my appointment isn't for 2 hours? Okay, that's not an emergency, but my first inclination is still to lie. How about this…my husband was checking the water valve connection behind the refrigerator. He asked me to help him slide the frig. back into place, but first, he needed to check that the water hose wasn't kinked. He bent down, and I pushed ever-so-slightly against the frig. to see how heavy it was. The stupid thing moved, and Roy jerked his hand away from the wheels.

“Are you moving the refrigerator?” he yelled. “My hand was back there!”

My immediate answer? “No! Of course, not!”

Okay, think about it. How else did the frig. move? We're the only two people in the stinkin' house! Duh. But I barely touched it, and I didn't know it was on wheels, and it moved less than ¼ inch…but still…I moved it. Ugh. So I had to back-pedal. “Well, yes, actually, I, um, well…” So how do you respond in the heat of the moment?

Gen. 31:22-24 – “On the third day Laban was told that Jacob had fled. Taking his relatives with him, he pursued Jacob for seven days and caught up with him in the hill country of Gilead. Then God came to Laban the Aramean in a dream at night and said to him, 'Be careful not to say anything to Jacob, either good or bad.'”

• Jacob with 4 wives and 11 of his own children (not counting servants and their children) covered 300 miles in 10 days. No McDonalds. No Holiday Inns. Tents, campfires, camels, herds and flocks. And it took Laban 7 days to catch them – 7 days of rage building. In the heat of the moment, God stepped in before Laban could harm His chosen Covenant-bearer. Many commentators believe God's direction to “not say anything to Jacob, good or bad” meant that Laban shouldn't try to persuade Jacob to return to Haran using bribery or threats. The important thing is – God isn't limited to speak only to those who serve Him. He can protect His children even from those who don't recognize God as the True God.

Gen. 31:25-30 – “Jacob had pitched his tent in the hill country of Gilead when Laban overtook him, and Laban and his relatives camped there too. Then Laban said to Jacob, 'What have you done? You've deceived me, and you've carried off my daughters like captives in war. Why did you run off secretly and deceive me? Why didn't you tell me, so I could send you away with joy and singing to the music of tambourines and harps? You didn't even let me kiss my grandchildren and my daughters good-by. You have done a foolish thing. I have the power to harm you; but last night the God of your father said to me, “Be careful not to say anything to Jacob, either good or bad.” Now you have gone off because you longed to return to your father's house. But why did you steal my gods?'” (emphasis added)

• Even in the heat of the moment, Laban mixes truth with lies – because deception is mired so deeply into his character. Imagine the highly charged emotions of this scene. Imagine the fear in Jacob and his wives/children. Imagine the anger/frustration in Laban at being duped and then kept from vengeance by a God not even his own. And finally, imagine that the only gods you think you can rely on have just been stolen by the one person who has taken everything else you value.

Gen. 31:31-32 – “Jacob answered Laban, 'I was afraid, because I thought you would take your daughters away from me by force. But if you find anyone who has your gods, he shall not live. In the presence of our relatives, see for yourself whether there is anything of yours here with me; and if so, take it.' Now Jacob did not know that Rachel had stolen the gods.”

• Jacob was painfully honest in the heat of this moment. Fear was his motivation for their stealth departure. And in his moment of righteousness, he makes a rash promise based in pride…and it could have gotten his most beloved wife killed.

Gen. 31:33-35 – “So Laban went into Jacob's tent and into Leah's tent and into the tent of the two maidservants, but he found nothing. After he came out of Leah's tent, he entered Rachel's tent. Now Rachel had taken the household gods and put them inside her camel's saddle and was sitting on them. Laban searched through everything in the tent but found nothing. Rachel said to her father, 'Don't be angry, my lord, that I cannot stand up in your presence; I'm having my period.' So he searched but could not find the household gods.”

• In the heat of the moment, Rachel panicked and lied. Her life depended on it, and she'd seen the deceptive game her father and husband had played for twenty years. Why wouldn't she lie? But does the prevalence of deceit make deceit acceptable?

Gen. 31:36-37 – “Jacob was angry and took Laban to task. 'What is my crime?' he asked Laban. 'What sin have I committed that you hunt me down? Now that you have searched through all my goods, what have you found that belongs to your household? Put it here in front of your relatives and mine, and let them judge between the two of us.'”

• Okay, Jake. A little over-the-top on the self-righteousness? Aren't you the one that swindled your hungry brother out of his birthright? Aren't you the one that deceived your blind, old dad? And BTW, if Rachel hadn't lied, you'd be digging her grave about now. No matter how righteous we seem to ourselves or others, we are never pure enough to tout our own holiness – not when we serve the Servant Savior, the Almighty God of grace.

Lord, my heart, my head and my tongue can run away with me in the heat of the moment. I can say, think, feel and do all sorts of things I'll later regret. Please, Prince of Peace, give me the trueness of spirit to act and react with a steadfastness born of a life lived in Your presence.

EYE ON THE PRIZE

What is the purpose of a wedding? No – seriously. I'm actually contemplating the underlying motivation of days, weeks, even months of labor, sweat and stress to stand before a room (or in our daughter's case – a lawn) full of people and declare your vows of love and faithfulness. Why do we do that? As mother-of-the-bride, I was off-the-hook when it came to planning the wedding because we live 2,200 miles away. Our daughter and her fiancé planned everything beautifully; however, more than once in the final week leading up to that big day they threatened to elope! Emily's grandparent's (the parents of our hearts) hosted the rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, the ceremony and reception at their beautiful lakefront home. This meant months of preparation for them, and the days leading up to the BIG DAY were full of little chores to make the place shine like a new penny. Now, including our daughter's dog, there were three precious canines on the property during wedding preparations. Grandpa was the official pooper scooper – not glamorous, but essential. Grandma pruned the flower beds after the wind storms and kept the indoor clutter of 11 guests to a minimum. Moms, dads, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles and friends pitched in on the day of the wedding to help set up and dry off chairs when the heavens dumped buckets of rain just hours before the ceremony began. And when the cake lady arrived an hour late with the center tier of cake crumbled into bite-sized pieces, we were all thinking eloping might have been a better choice. So, again I ask. What is the purpose of a wedding? I believe the same answer applies to all of life's questions. It's about God. What is HE doing in the midst of it? Leah seemed to understand that principle at first, but then…

Gen. 29:31-35 – “When the LORD saw that Leah was not loved, he opened her womb, but Rachel was barren. Leah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Reuben, for she said, 'It is because the LORD has seen my misery. Surely my husband will love me now.' She conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she said, 'Because the LORD heard that I am not loved, he gave me this one too.' So she named him Simeon. Again she conceived, and when she gave birth to a son she said, 'Now at last my husband will become attached to me, because I have borne him three sons.' So he was named Levi. She conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she said, 'This time I will praise the LORD .' So she named him Judah. Then she stopped having children” (emphasis added).

• When the Lord saw that Leah was barren, He was quick to intervene on her behalf and comfort her with children – showing His love and favor in that tangible way. However, Leah was so focused on gaining her husband's love that she found it difficult to be thankful for God's love. Finally, after the birth of her fourth son, Leah's eyes shifted to the eternal Prize, and she awarded Judah the name that reflects a level of contentment in her relationship with GOD.

Gen. 30:1-8 – “When Rachel saw that she was not bearing Jacob any children, she became jealous of her sister. So she said to Jacob, 'Give me children, or I'll die!' Jacob became angry with her and said, 'Am I in the place of God, who has kept you from having children?' Then she said, 'Here is Bilhah, my maidservant. Sleep with her so that she can bear children for me and that through her I too can build a family.' So she gave him her servant Bilhah as a wife. Jacob slept with her, and she became pregnant and bore him a son. Then Rachel said, 'God has vindicated me; he has listened to my plea and given me a son.' Because of this she named him Dan. Rachel's servant Bilhah conceived again and bore Jacob a second son. Then Rachel said, 'I have had a great struggle with my sister, and I have won.' So she named him Naphtali.” (emphasis added)

• Jealousy is a sure sign that our eyes have wandered to someone else's prize. And if you'll notice, our eyes work in tandem – where one eye goes, both go. So, if we're gazing longingly at someone else's prize, we can't possibly be gazing longingly at Jesus. Notice that Rachel at least made some mention of God when naming her first son through Bilhah, but by the second son, all pretense of holiness was gone. By then, she acknowledged it as a competition, and her eyes were firmly fixed on the wrong finish line.

Gen. 30:9-13 – “When Leah saw that she had stopped having children, she took her maidservant Zilpah and gave her to Jacob as a wife. Leah's servant Zilpah bore Jacob a son. Then Leah said, 'What good fortune!' So she named him Gad. Leah's servant Zilpah bore Jacob a second son. Then Leah said, 'How happy I am! The women will call me happy.' So she named him Asher.” (emphasis added)

• What happened to Leah's contentment in the One, True God? And how can she accredit her maidservant's children to mere FORTUNE? And the second son simply makes her “happy” but doesn't cause her to PRAISE the Giver of Life. My guess is that Leah has become angry with God for allowing her sister Rachel to have children. It was the only advantage she'd had over her, and now she was unloved and unable to bear children of her own. Self-pity has become her focus. Happiness her goal. The first is destructive. The second fickle.

Gen. 30:14-16 – “During wheat harvest, Reuben went out into the fields and found some mandrake plants, which he brought to his mother Leah. Rachel said to Leah, 'Please give me some of your son's mandrakes.' But she said to her, 'Wasn't it enough that you took away my husband? Will you take my son's mandrakes too?' 'Very well,' Rachel said, 'he can sleep with you tonight in return for your son's mandrakes.' So when Jacob came in from the fields that evening, Leah went out to meet him. 'You must sleep with me,' she said. 'I have hired you with my son's mandrakes.' So he slept with her that night.”

• If Leah's son, Reuben, knew his mother would appreciate the fabled aphrodisiac flowers, the rivalry between Jacob's wives had evidently permeated the whole household. As parents (adults), we train our children's eyes on the prizes we value most – intentionally or unintentionally. Kids watch and learn.

Gen. 30:17-24 – “God listened to Leah, and she became pregnant and bore Jacob a fifth son. Then Leah said, 'God has rewarded me for giving my maidservant to my husband.' So she named him Issachar. Leah conceived again and bore Jacob a sixth son. Then Leah said, 'God has presented me with a precious gift. This time my husband will treat me with honor, because I have borne him six sons.' So she named him Zebulun. Some time later she gave birth to a daughter and named her Dinah. Then God remembered Rachel; he listened to her and opened her womb. She became pregnant and gave birth to a son and said, 'God has taken away my disgrace.' She named him Joseph, and said, 'May the LORD add to me another son.'” (emphasis added)

• Is there any better example of God's amazing grace in the Old Testament? Here are two women acting like spoiled children, and yet God listens to their prayers and answers according to their deepest desires. While these two women were at each other's throats and demonstrating destruction to their children, God intervened. He loved. He blessed…in spite of them. And in the end, they praised Him for it.

Lord, I can look at these two women and say, “Why won't You answer MY prayers if you answered THEIRS?” But the greater question is – Why do You answer the prayers of any of Your silly, sinful children? If You waited until I was perfect before blessing me, I would be the lowliest of human beings! Thank You for Your infinite wisdom and grace that answers when I least deserve it. Teach me to focus more on my eternal Prize and less on earthly distractions. I want to look beyond the proverbial wedding to the Beloved that binds the hearts.

REASONABLE EXPECTATIONS

“Reasonable expectations.” It's a tricky phrase, isn't it? I'm sure there are legal cases piled up in courtrooms across the country, debating what a jury deems “reasonable expectations” for contracted services, purchases and even relationships. Our family's reasonable expectation involved a baker, a cake, a wedding and 125 guests. Almost nine months ago, our daughter, Emily, and her fiancé met with the owner of a local bakery to discuss wedding cake options. They were impressed with the man's portfolio and tasted three flavors of cake and several delightful icings. They eagerly signed a contract, leaving the suggested cash deposit. Three months in advance of the wedding, the kids began confirming with the various vendors as was suggested by all the wedding magazines. When they called the bakery, a female voice answered and explained that she had purchased the original baker's business but would honor their deposit and try to do the cake as ordered. Try? Our daughter and her fiancé made a quick trip (4 hours) to the bakery to meet with the new owner and sample her wares. The flavor was adequate, but they were uneasy from the beginning with this new relationship. Fast-forward…to the wedding day. Excitement is mounting. Outdoor wedding. Rain – down-pour – two hours before the ceremony. Cake lady is MIA, AWOL – OMG! An hour late, she shows up. Crying. The middle tier of the 3-tiered cake is completely destroyed. Bumpy Indiana roads in her Jeep Cherokee, she says. Ugh. But here's the key. Two days before, my daughter and I had a “mommy/daughter” breakfast date, and Emily asked me this question: “Mom, are you ready for some BIG emergency on my wedding day?” When I gave her my puzzled stare, she continued. “'Cause you know something will go wrong, and we'll just have to roll with it.” After seeing the cake, I trudged back upstairs, to tell our baby girl that her dream cake was a nightmare. Would she remember her REASONABLE EXPECTATIONS of at least one disaster on this day? She did, and her groom handled it beautifully, too. The skies cleared – no more rain. No more disasters. What are your reasonable expectations?

Gen. 29:14b-20 – “Laban said to [Jacob], 'Just because you are a relative of mine, should you work for me for nothing? Tell me what your wages should be.' Now Laban had two daughters; the name of the older was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel. Leah had weak eyes, but Rachel was lovely in form, and beautiful. Jacob was in love with Rachel and said, 'I'll work for you seven years in return for your younger daughter Rachel.' Laban said, 'It's better that I give her to you than to some other man. Stay here with me.' So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her. (emphasis added)

• From the sound of Laban's lack-luster response, I'm thinking he wasn't thrilled when Jacob proposed Rachel as wages. Wasn't it more reasonable to pay wages in silver or gold, flocks or herds – even servants? But daughters? Laban may have asked for Jacob's input, but it seems he had a pre-determined idea of what was reasonable and he found it difficult to adjust to someone else's plan. Sound familiar?

Gen. 29:21 – “Then Jacob said to Laban, 'Give me my wife. My time is completed, and I want to lie with her.'”

• What might have happened during Jacob's seven years of service to Laban that changed Jacob's tone so completely? The demanding words and voice lead us to believe Jacob might have expected Laban to double-cross him...and he was right. But is a tantrum justified when others threaten our expectations?

Gen. 29:22-30 – “So Laban brought together all the people of the place and gave a feast. But when evening came, he took his daughter Leah and gave her to Jacob, and Jacob lay with her. And Laban gave his servant girl Zilpah to his daughter as her maidservant. When morning came, there was Leah! So Jacob said to Laban, 'What is this you have done to me? I served you for Rachel, didn't I? Why have you deceived me?' Laban replied, 'It is not our custom here to give the younger daughter in marriage before the older one. Finish this daughter's bridal week; then we will give you the younger one also, in return for another seven years of work.' And Jacob did so. He finished the week with Leah, and then Laban gave him his daughter Rachel to be his wife. Laban gave his servant girl Bilhah to his daughter Rachel as her maidservant. Jacob lay with Rachel also, and he loved Rachel more than Leah. And he worked for Laban another seven years.”

• Even though Jacob expected it, Laban found a way to double-cross him. Sometimes people live up to our low expectations, and the pain crashes into our lives and others' – creating dominoes of expectations for generations. How did Leah feel when her new husband railed at being “stuck” with her? How did Rachel feel at being passed over because she was the younger sister? When reasonable expectations are dashed, it's seldom only one person who is hurt.

Lord, when I'm disappointed, teach me to turn to You for comfort first – before I rant and rail. Give me perspective. Show me Your heavenly view of REASONABLE before I allow my self-justification to bully those who might be harmed in the stampede. Help me to mourn my lost expectations, allowing You to comfort me in the true and real grief I feel. Finally, as I regain my sense of Your presence, help me to minister to others – now more effective because I've felt the sting of dashed expectations and the touch of Your comfort.