MORE THAN JUST POSITIVE THINKING

Rain arrived last Saturday in the Pacific Northwest, and it‘s more likely than possible that we‘ll not see much sun until May. I finally cut sales tags off my rain boots and chose an outfit that matched them to wear to church. So in the long, gloomy, rainy days of Northwest fall, winter and spring – how do we stay positive? I hate positive thinking. It‘s a bit like lying to your face. Why should I tell my face to smile when every natural instinct says cry or scream? Even Job said, ―If I change my expression and smile, I still dread all my suffering.‖ (Job 9:27) See? Even good ol‘ Job thought positive thinking was a hoax. When those health and wealth gurus tell me to slap on a smile, I just want to slap theirs off! A permanent smile is just downright creepy – look at the Batman movies…the Joker never loses his smile, but who wants HIS disposition? So what‘s the answer? Do we walk around at the whim of our circumstance-blown emotions? That would be tragic indeed. To feel the true joy for which we were created, our attitudes, ambition and purpose must be centered on a far more stable Truth and Source. The writer of Genesis realized it and revealed it in the story of Joseph…

Gen. 39:1-2 – "Now Joseph had been taken down to Egypt. Potiphar, an Egyptian who was one of Pharaoh's officials, the captain of the guard, bought him from the Ishmaelites who had taken him there. The LORD was with Joseph and he prospered, and he lived in the house of his Egyptian master." (emphasis added)

• How could Joseph "prosper" as a slave? Seriously. He had been the favored son of a wealthy nomadic tribal chief. He could have looked at Potiphar's villa and power and been envious. Instead, Joseph focused on the one stable Source of his contentment – Yahweh, the LORD, who was WITH him in Canaan or in Egypt. God's presence became Joseph's prosperity, not the hope of material gain or a manufactured feel-good emotion. God WITH him – WITH you. Emmanuel.

Gen. 39:3-4 – "When his master saw that the LORD was with him and that the LORD gave him success in everything he did, Joseph found favor in his eyes and became his attendant. Potiphar put him in charge of his household, and he entrusted to his care everything he owned." (emphasis added)

• How did Potiphar know Joseph was a follower of Yahweh? Either Joseph spoke of God or he wore something that defined him as a follower of Yahweh. People recognize us as followers of Christ in the same ways – either we tell them, or we give them some outward clue as to our inward condition. But notice that Potiphar realized more than just Joseph's allegiance to the Hebrew God. The master understood that Joseph's success came from Above, that it wasn't just the slave's natural talent that prospered his household. At some crucial point, Joseph found ways to give God the glory for every good gift that came to his master's house.

Gen. 39:5-6 – "From the time [Potiphar] put [Joseph] in charge of his household and of all that he owned, the LORD blessed the household of the Egyptian because of Joseph. The blessing of the LORD was on everything Potiphar had, both in the house and in the field. So he left in Joseph's care everything he had; with Joseph in charge, he did not concern himself with anything except the food he ate." (emphasis added)

• The blessing of God's presence was passed from faithful Joseph to his observant master. Joseph's faith amplified God's faithfulness, making Potiphar the beneficiary of God's blessing. God wasn't faithful BECAUSE Joseph delighted in His presence, but Joseph's delight in God's presence certainly opened the door of God's blessing to Potiphar. Those who know us best quickly recognize a fake smile; but an authentic smile, from a heart content in Christ, is a blessing to the smiler and to the smile-watcher.

Lord, I have been pretty good at faking a smile for most of my life – and I'm tired of it. I see now that I can experience a true and abiding joy, based on the reality of Your presence. You are WITH me, wherever I am, in whatever circumstance I find myself. For that reason alone, my smile never has to lie again.

AVOIDANCE AND DECEPTION

I'm going to have to monitor my husband's TV watching more closely. Actually, we both really enjoy a show called, Lie to Me. It's about this facial recognition specialist, who uses facial tics and expressions to determine if people are telling the truth. The main character is so proficient at reading faces, he can discern if a person is fearful, disgusted or humiliated. He listens carefully to their answers, determining if they're “deflecting” or avoiding the question. Well, my husband has decided to duplicate this TV show in real life. If I avoid answering his specific question, he says, “You're deflecting!” Hrumph! If I stretch a few details to make a story more interesting, he cries, “You're exaggerating!” What's wrong with embellishment? Well, embellishment is just another word for DECEPTION and it's been used with its cousin, AVOIDANCE, for centuries to manipulate people and circumstances. Abraham, Isaac and Jacob had a history of deception…and now, Judah picks up where his ancestors left off.

Gen. 38:1 – “At that time, Judah left his brothers and went down to stay with a man of Adullam named Hirah.” (emphasis added)

• Judah left when his father started mourning for Joseph, unable – or unwilling – to witness the consequences of his sin. Though it had been his idea to sell Joseph into slavery, he took the coward's road of AVOIDANCE and left his brothers to take responsibility for the pain he caused.

Gen. 38:2-11 – “There Judah met the daughter of a Canaanite man named Shua. He married her and lay with her; she became pregnant and gave birth to a son, who was named Er. She conceived again and gave birth to a son and named him Onan. She gave birth to still another son and named him Shelah. It was at Kezib that she gave birth to him. Judah got a wife for Er, his firstborn, and her name was Tamar. But Er, Judah's firstborn, was wicked in the LORD's sight; so the LORD put him to death. Then Judah said to Onan, 'Lie with your brother's wife and fulfill your duty to her as a brother-in-law to produce offspring for your brother.' But Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so whenever he lay with his brother's wife, he spilled his semen on the ground to keep from producing offspring for his brother. What he did was wicked in the LORD's sight; so he put him to death also. Judah then said to his daughter-in-law Tamar, 'Live as a widow in your father's house until my son Shelah grows up.' For he thought, 'He may die too, just like his brothers.' So Tamar went to live in her father's house.” (emphasis added)

• Stop to consider how many years Judah has lived among the Canaanites. Long enough to marry, have three sons, find a wife for them and then lose two of his sons due to wickedness. Judah has been hiding from his sin – away from Jacob, God's Covenant bearer. And he's doing everything humanly possible to protect himself and his third son. The problem is: we can't AVOID or DECEIVE God. Even at a subconscious level, God works His way into our hearts, nudging us toward Him. Here's what I mean…Judah required his second son to marry Tamar to “fulfill the duty of the brother-in-law.” Historically, this is the first reference to such a requirement. Later, this obligation is added to the Law of Moses, but for now, Judah is openly rebellious against God and deceiving his daughter-in-law. Regardless, God's protective hand is establishing the lineage of Judah…the family tree of Jesus Christ. When we refuse to submit to God, He remains a soft Light on our wrong path.

Gen. 38:12-19 – “After a long time Judah's wife, the daughter of Shua, died. When Judah had recovered from his grief, he went up to Timnah, to the men who were shearing his sheep, and his friend Hirah the Adullamite went with him. When Tamar was told, 'Your father-in-law is on his way to Timnah to shear his sheep,' she took off her widow's clothes, covered herself with a veil to disguise herself, and then sat down at the entrance to Enaim, which is on the road to Timnah. For she saw that, though Shelah had now grown up, she had not been given to him as his wife. When Judah saw her, he thought she was a prostitute, for she had covered her face. Not realizing that she was his daughter-in-law, he went over to her by the roadside and said, 'Come now, let me sleep with you.' 'And what will you give me to sleep with you?' she asked. 'I'll send you a young goat from my flock,' he said. 'Will you give me something as a pledge until you send it?' she asked. He said, 'What pledge should I give you?' 'Your seal and its cord, and the staff in your hand,' she answered. So he gave them to her and slept with her, and she became pregnant by him. After she left, she took off her veil and put on her widow‟s clothes again.” (emphasis added)

• Notice Tamar never lied to her father-in-law – but she deceived him. He saw her and assumed she was a prostitute – just as Jacob had seen Joseph's bloodied robe and assumed he was devoured by wild animals. Isn't it just a little bit delicious that Judah, the trickster, gets tricked? DECEPTION need not be a spoken lie – it is the spirit of the concept being communicated. Tamar intended deceit – as Judah had.

Gen. 38:20-23 – “Meanwhile Judah sent the young goat by his friend the Adullamite in order to get his pledge back from the woman, but he did not find her. He asked the men who lived there, 'Where is the shrine prostitute who was beside the road at Enaim?' 'There hasn't been any shrine prostitute here,' they said. So he went back to Judah and said, 'I didn't find her. Besides, the men who lived there said, “There hasn‟t been any shrine prostitute here.”' Then Judah said, 'Let her keep what she has, or we will become a laughingstock. After all, I did send her this young goat, but you didn‟t find her.'”

• Okay, this is almost comical. Almost. Judah is a sinner trying to scrape together some semblance of integrity – that is, if it doesn't take too much effort. When a little integrity might unmask his sin, Judah reverts to AVOIDANCE because it's comfortable. For many people, when a situation requires too much effort, honor or disclosure, we avoid it, forget it, or pretend it didn't happen. The Lord calls us to do what's right; but when we fail, we should at least make the effort to make it right.

Gen. 38:24-26 – “About three months later Judah was told, 'Your daughter-in-law Tamar is guilty of prostitution, and as a result she is now pregnant.' Judah said, 'Bring her out and have her burned to death!' As she was being brought out, she sent a message to her father-in-law. 'I am pregnant by the man who owns these,' she said. And she added, 'See if you recognize whose seal and cord and staff these are.' Judah recognized them and said, 'She is more righteous than I, since I wouldn‟t give her to my son Shelah.' And he did not sleep with her again.”

• When Judah was backed into a corner, AVOIDANCE and DECEPTION now impossible, at least he gathered his tattered integrity and covered Tamar with it.

Gen. 38:27-30 – “When the time came for her to give birth, there were twin boys in her womb. As she was giving birth, one of them put out his hand; so the midwife took a scarlet thread and tied it on his wrist and said, 'This one came out first.' But when he drew back his hand, his brother came out, and she said, 'So this is how you have broken out!' And he was named Perez(means “breaking out”). Then his brother, who had the scarlet thread on his wrist, came out and he was given the name Zerah(means “scarlet or brightness”).”

• I find it interesting that the names of Judah's and Tamar's twins seem to embody the opposite of AVOIDANCE and DECEPTION. Perez, the little one who “broke out,” certainly didn't know the meaning of avoidance. Nor could Zerah, the one with the scarlet thread on his wrist, deceive the midwife by his shifty arrival. How great it would be if our children could be free from the weaknesses that plague their parents.

Lord, help me to meet difficult circumstances without hesitation and stand stronger in unshaded truth. I want to be so near to Your all-consuming Light that I can't avoid the truth that surrounds me - no matter how unpleasant, no matter how much effort it requires. Let my integrity and wisdom grow in proportion to my relationship with You.

LESS THAN EXPECTED

Life seldom delivers what we expect. The divorce rate is vivid proof. Even our long-anticipated holidays, celebrations and vacations almost never pack the same "punch" we've dreamed of. Why is that? Are our expectations too high or do we live life too low? One of the worst demolitions of our family's expectations was our nearly canceled cruise to Australia/New Zealand. It was Christmas 2008, and Portland experienced its worst snowstorm in thirty years – closing the airport and causing us to miss the first four days of our 14-day cruise. Portland's blast of winter cost us our tour of Australia, and we had to meet the ship in New Zealand (which was beautiful, by the way). We were thankful, of course, but we had so looked forward to seeing Australia, since our interest had been peeked years earlier when our daughter applied to be an exchange student there but was reassigned. Most importantly, however, for weeks and months, we expected a glorious Christmas with our precious parents-of-the-heart, who were to meet us in LA so we could be together on the ship for Christmas. Instead, they spent Christmas on the ship alone, and we sat in the LA airport – a nine hour layover before a 14-hour trans-Pacific flight. Yep, our girls are pictured above with their single present and our pile of carry-on luggage.

But we adjusted our expectations! The new plan was to meet a cruise-line representative in Auckland, New Zealand. Alas, no one met us, so we adjusted expectations again and boarded the ship the next day. Finally underway, our cruise was wonderful, beautiful, splendid. Just not what we expected…

Gen. 37:12-14 – "Now [Joseph‘s] brothers had gone to graze their father's flocks near Shechem, and Israel said to Joseph, 'As you know, your brothers are grazing the flocks near Shechem. Come, I am going to send you to them.'

'Very well,' he replied.

So he said to him, 'Go and see if all is well with your brothers and with the flocks, and bring word back to me.' Then he sent him off from the Valley of Hebron."

• Joseph was about seventeen years old when his father, Jacob (Israel), expected him to travel fifty miles from Hebron to Shechem to find his brothers.

Gen. 37:15-18 – "When Joseph arrived at Shechem, a man found him wandering around in the fields and asked him, 'What are you looking for?'

He replied, 'I'm looking for my brothers. Can you tell me where they are grazing their flocks?'

'They have moved on from here,' the man answered. 'I heard them say, "Let's go to Dothan."' So Joseph went after his brothers and found them near Dothan. But they saw him in the distance, and before he reached them, they plotted to kill him."

• Joseph was relentless in his search for his brothers – no doubt because he wanted to meet his father‘s expectations.

Gen. 37:19-20 – "'Here comes that dreamer!' they said to each other. 'Come now, let's kill him and throw him into one of these cisterns and say that a ferocious animal devoured him. Then we‘ll see what comes of his dreams.'"

• Joseph’s brothers' hate had escalated into murderous thoughts – they expected to be rid of him forever.

Gen. 37:21-22 – "When Reuben heard this, he tried to rescue him from their hands. 'Let's not take his life,' he said. 'Don't shed any blood. Throw him into this cistern here in the desert, but don't lay a hand on him.' Reuben said this to rescue him from them and take him back to his father."

• Reuben expected to appease his brothers' hatred and rescue Joseph later – he expected to become a hero in his father's eyes.

Gen. 37:23-24 – "So when Joseph came to his brothers, they stripped him of his robe—the richly ornamented robe he was wearing—and they took him and threw him into the cistern. Now the cistern was empty; there was no water in it."

• Imagine the welcome Joseph expected. He'd searched from Hebron to Shechem to Dothan and finally found his surly brothers. Instead of welcome or appreciation, he received a waterless grave. Was the depth of their hate a surprise to Joseph? Had he expected them to go this far? The shock and betrayal of a family member is a deep wound. Though the author of Genesis later reveals Joseph's emotions during his captivity in Egypt, here there is no mention of Joseph's reaction. Not a single word, thought or prayer. Sometimes there are no words to describe the pain when a situation runs so completely contrary to our expectations.

Gen. 37:25-28 – "As [the brothers] sat down to eat their meal, they looked up and saw a caravan of Ishmaelites coming from Gilead. Their camels were loaded with spices, balm and myrrh, and they were on their way to take them down to Egypt. Judah said to his brothers, 'What will we gain if we kill our brother and cover up his blood? Come, let's sell him to the Ishmaelites and not lay our hands on him; after all, he is our brother, our own flesh and blood.' His brothers agreed. So when the Midianite merchants came by, his brothers pulled Joseph up out of the cistern and sold him for twenty shekels of silver to the Ishmaelites, who took him to Egypt." (emphasis added)

• Greed changed the brothers’ expectations. Suddenly, Judah was reminded that Joseph was their brother – an attack of conscience spurred by a lucrative opportunity. Their expectations were redefined by sin. We can rationalize an expectation, even make it appear noble – with incredibly ignoble motives. The root of our expectations is a matter of the heart.

Gen. 37:29-32 – "When Reuben returned to the cistern and saw that Joseph was not there, he tore his clothes. He went back to his brothers and said, 'The boy isn't there! Where can I turn now?' Then they got Joseph's robe, slaughtered a goat and dipped the robe in the blood. They took the ornamented robe back to their father and said, 'We found this. Examine it to see whether it is your son‘s robe.'"

• Where was Reuben when the brothers sold Joseph to the Midianites? Reuben expected to be the hero – saving Joseph and returning the favored son to their father. But because he didn't act on his convictions right away, he Reuben missed the opportunity to do the right thing. Good intentions mingled with high expectations can be nullified by procrastination.

Gen. 37:33-35 – "[Jacob] recognized it and said, 'It is my son's robe! Some ferocious animal has devoured him. Joseph has surely been torn to pieces.' Then Jacob tore his clothes, put on sackcloth and mourned for his son many days. All his sons and daughters came to comfort him, but he refused to be comforted. 'No,' he said, 'in mourning will I go down to the grave to my son.' So his father wept for him."

• After seeing Joseph's robe smeared with blood Jacob expected Joseph to be dead. All the facts pointed to it, so his sons didn't need to say a word. Jacob created his own expectation without asking questions to clarify the truth. Did he blame himself for sending a boy of seventeen on such a long journey? Did he suspect his sons of foul play? Guilt, fear, anger and a host of other unhealthy emotions can send our expectations spiraling into a dark realm – like the irrevocable grieving Jacob began.

Gen. 37:36 – "Meanwhile, the Midianites sold Joseph in Egypt to Potiphar, one of Pharaoh‘s officials, the captain of the guard."

• Well, this is certainly about as far from Joseph’s expectations as he could get. In his dreams, his father and brothers were bowing to him. He was now a servant in a foreign land – away from everyone and everything he knew. The important lesson is this: In this moment, Joseph's life doesn't line up with the expectations God placed in his heart. However, God isn't finished with Joseph! Our lives are so much more than one moment in time, and the expectations God has for us will take a lifetime to realize.

Lord, my expectations are so very tied to the here and the now. I try to dream of what the future may hold, but my idea of the future comes much more quickly than Yours! Teach me to temper my expectations with eternity. Give me the contentment of Your timelessness.

TMI

Research has uncovered a serious disease that affects one out of three individuals. It's abbreviation is TMI, but you may know it as, “Too-much-eous Information-eous.” (Okay, just so we're clear – I'm making all this up) The symptoms of Too-much-eous Information-eous (TMI) are easy to recognize. The TMI carrier shares more information than his/her hearers need to know, should know or even want to know. A TMI carrier talks long after his/her listeners have stopped listening. TMI can be contagious, when an otherwise discreet or tactful individual endures repeated exposure to a TMI sufferer. To protect ourselves from this modern epidemic, we have a powerful yet simple weapon at our disposal: a single question posed to anyone you might suspect suffers from TMI. Simply make good eye contact and ask, “If you were to describe yourself as a punctuation mark, what would you be?” If the person answers, “Exclamation point, period, or question mark,” you may safely pursue a healthy conversation. However, if the individual answers, “semi-colon, comma, or (heaven help us) ellipsis – a triple dot at the end of a sentence,” RUN! You have encountered a TMI carrier, and your social graces may be in grave danger! If you believe you may have already been infected with the TMI germ, perform these simple tests at your next social gathering. #1 – If you don't get invited to a social gathering, you are probably a carrier. #2 – If you go to a party, and people's eyes glaze over the moment you begin speaking, you may be a carrier. #3 – If you go to a party, and they ask you to refill the food trays and punch bowl – and you've never met the host/hostess – you may be a carrier. My advice to you, if you have already been infected by the TMI germ…end every story with, “And then I found five dollars.” At least then all your stories will have a happy ending. Our biblical example of a TMI carrier: Joseph, Jacob's eleventh son…

Gen. 37:1-2 – “Jacob lived in the land where his father had stayed, the land of Canaan. This is the account of Jacob. Joseph, a young man of seventeen, was tending the flocks with his brothers, the sons of Bilhah and the sons of Zilpah, his father's wives, and he brought their father a bad report about them.” (emphasis added)

• You would hope that by age seventeen, Joseph would have found more creative ways than tattling to solve problems. Granted, some instances require the intervention of an mediator; however, could Joseph's tattling have been avoided with a more tactful attempt at diplomacy? Joseph's runaway tongue shares TMI with others, building walls where a little wisdom might have built bridges. Too often, even adults are guilty of tattling in order to gain support for their “side” of an issue.

Gen. 37:3-4 – “Now Israel loved Joseph more than any of his other sons, because he had been born to him in his old age; and he made a richly ornamented robe for him. When his brothers saw that their father loved him more than any of them, they hated him and could not speak a kind word to him.”

• It seems Joseph wasn't the only one suffering from TMI. Jacob, too, seemed to share his favoritism too freely. Rather than recognizing the sin of dividing his household, Jacob flaunted his dysfunction by draping Joseph in the richly ornamented proof of his fatherly love. It was TMI and became salt in the wounded hearts of his other sons.

Gen. 37:5-8 – “Joseph had a dream, and when he told it to his brothers, they hated him all the more. He said to them, 'Listen to this dream I had: We were binding sheaves of grain out in the field when suddenly my sheaf rose and stood upright, while your sheaves gathered around mine and bowed down to it.' His brothers said to him, 'Do you intend to reign over us? Will you actually rule us?' And they hated him all the more because of his dream and what he had said.” (emphasis added)

• Joseph's brothers hated him for two reasons – one was beyond Joseph's control, the other was TMI. Joseph's dream was a subconscious response initiated by God, foretelling a future event that the Lord would indeed bring to pass. However, Joseph's mistake was sharing his spiritual insights with folks who could not/would not/did not appreciate hearing about Joseph's heavenly encounter. We must choose carefully those with whom we share God's work in our lives.

Gen. 37:9-11 – “Then he had another dream, and he told it to his brothers. 'Listen,' he said, 'I had another dream, and this time the sun and moon and eleven stars were bowing down to me.' When he told his father as well as his brothers, his father rebuked him and said, 'What is this dream you had? Will your mother and I and your brothers actually come and bow down to the ground before you?' His brothers were jealous of him, but his father kept the matter in mind.” (emphasis added)

• Okay, the first dream-share we can chalk up to an “oops,” for silly young Joseph. But when the kid adds fuel to his brothers' already white-hot flames of hatred, we've just got to shake our heads and say, “Yo, dude! TMI!” Since he included his father in this second explanation, I'm wondering if he thought he might get Jacob's approval…. Oops, miscalculation. I find it interesting that Jacob asks if Joseph's mother and he will come and bow down – Rachel is dead. Jacob chastises Joseph, but Scripture says that Jacob “kept the matter in mind.” Perhaps Jacob knew this impulsive, extravagant son, who has a severe case of TMI, has also been called by God for a special purpose. I find great comfort in that…

Lord, I see the faults in Joseph and Jacob – and many of the Bible characters – and they mirror so many of my own shortcomings. Having battled TMI all my life, it continues to plague me from time to time. Can you still use me, Lord? Even though I say the wrong thing at the wrong time? Even though I tell more than anyone needs to know? I trust Your power and wisdom to be greater than my weakness and flaws. Let it be so, Father. Let it be so.

A DEFINING LEGACY

Okay, this picture (at right) is NOT my house...but it could be if I don't learn to throw things away. I’m getting to that time in life when I open my underwear drawer and think, Holy Smokes! If I die today, I don’t want anyone cleaning out this drawer! I have underwear in there older than my children!

I certainly want to leave a more meaningful legacy than stretched-out, hole-ly (not holy), elastic-less underwear! It occurs to me that men and women think differently about legacies. (Men and women think differently about underwear, too, but that’s for another devotional topic.) In a room of strangers, men usually introduce themselves by reciting their occupation or their associations. Women introduce themselves by establishing their relationships – their children, husband, parents, friends. Women may also share their occupations, but oftentimes they will tell WHO they work with – as opposed to men, who begin comparing the quickest route to said location. In either type of introduction, the individual defines the people, places and things in their lives that have shaped them. A legacy is not only left for those who come after us. It is also shaped by those who have built into us. We see Esau’s legacy described in one chapter of Genesis. No underwear drawer to inspect. Just one chapter to read...

Gen. 36:1-5 – "This is the account of Esau (that is, Edom). Esau took his wives from the women of Canaan: Adah daughter of Elon the Hittite, and Oholibamah daughter of Anah and granddaughter of Zibeon the Hivite—also Basemath daughter of Ishmael and sister of Nebaioth. Adah bore Eliphaz to Esau, Basemath bore Reuel, and Oholibamah bore Jeush, Jalam and Korah. These were the sons of Esau, who were born to him in Canaan." (emphasis added)

• Esau was defined by his wives. No doubt, a marriage relationship in ancient Middle East 2000 BC looked quite different than a marriage relationship in America 2010 AD. However, I believe this remains constant: the unique intimacy of marriage affects a person’s sense of self more deeply than any other adult relationship. Ultimately, my legacy joins with my spouse’s legacy to become a combined statement of a life lived together.

Gen. 36:6-8 – "Esau took his wives and sons and daughters and all the members of his household, as well as his livestock and all his other animals and all the goods he had acquired in Canaan, and moved to a land some distance from his brother Jacob. Their possessions were too great for them to remain together; the land where they were staying could not support them both because of their livestock. So Esau (that is, Edom) settled in the hill country of Seir."

• Esau was defined by his location. My husband and I have three homes. We hold a mortgage on one house; however, we consider three locations to be HOME: 1) where we grew up, 2) where we enjoyed pastoral ministry during our children’s growing-up years, and 3) where we live now. Each of those places changed us, taught us, shaped us into the people we are today, and in each of those locations, we left and will leave a lasting footprint that others will follow.

Gen. 36:9-14 – "This is the account of Esau the father of the Edomites in the hill country of Seir. These are the names of Esau’s sons: Eliphaz, the son of Esau’s wife Adah, and Reuel, the son of Esau’s wife Basemath. The sons of Eliphaz: Teman, Omar, Zepho, Gatam and Kenaz. Esau’s son Eliphaz also had a concubine named Timna, who bore him Amalek. These were grandsons of Esau’s wife Adah. The sons of Reuel: Nahath, Zerah, Shammah and Mizzah. These were grandsons of Esau’s wife Basemath. The sons of Esau’s wife Oholibamah daughter of Anah and granddaughter of Zibeon, whom she bore to Esau: Jeush, Jalam and Korah."

• Esau was defined by his children and grandchildren. For better or worse, our kids become our calling card to the world, when our voices are long gone. Of course, our children have been ours to mold and shape since their first squalling breath, but have you ever considered the shaping children do in our lives? Whether our own children or those of others, kids teach us things we could never learn from adults. The world through the eyes of a child – or even a teenager – is vastly different than its interpretation by a jaded adult. And if my daughters didn’t keep me updated on pop culture, I’d be even further behind the curve than I already am! God bless my kids (and someday grandkids), who in many ways help define their own legacy.

Gen. 36:15-30 – "These were the chiefs among Esau’s descendants: The sons of Eliphaz the firstborn of Esau: Chiefs Teman, Omar, Zepho, Kenaz, Korah, Gatam and Amalek…they were grandsons of Adah. The sons of Esau’s son Reuel: Chiefs Nahath, Zerah, Shammah and Mizzah…they were grandsons of Esau’s wife Basemath. …Chiefs Jeush, Jalam and Korah. These were the chiefs descended from Esau’s wife Oholibamah daughter of Anah. These were the sons of Esau (that is, Edom), and these were their chiefs.

These were the sons of Seir the Horite, who were living in the region: Lotan, Shobal, Zibeon, Anah, Dishon, Ezer and Dishan. These sons of Seir in Edom were Horite chiefs. The sons of Lotan: Hori and Homam. Timna was Lotan’s sister. The sons of Shobal…The sons of Zibeon…The children of Anah: Dishon and Oholibamah daughter of Anah. The sons of Dishon…The sons of Ezer…The sons of Dishan …These were the Horite chiefs, according to their divisions, in the land of Seir." (emphasis added)

• Esau was defined by his in-laws. When Esau married Canaanite women, he bound himself and his descendants to their pagan culture for all time. Esau married the daughter of a Horite Chief, an important man in the region Esau planned to settle. Esau’s firstborn son, Eliphaz, took a concubine from the royal Horite family (Timna, 36:12,22) and made her son a chief equal among his other sons (Amalek, father of the Amalekites). The family of our spouse brings a kaleidoscope of color to the legacy we will leave – a truth we must recognize and then maximize or minimize as much as possible.

Gen. 36:31-43 – "These were the kings who reigned in Edom before any Israelite king reigned: Bela son of Beor became king of Edom. His city was named Dinhabah. When Bela died, Jobab son of Zerah from Bozrah succeeded him as king. When Jobab died, Husham…succeeded him…Hadad…succeeded him…Samlah…succeeded him…Shaul…succeeded him…Baal-Hanan…succeeded him…Hadad succeeded him…These were the chiefs descended from Esau, by name, according to their clans and regions: Timna, Alvah, Jetheth, Oholibamah, Elah, Pinon, Kenaz, Teman, Mibzar, Magdiel and Iram. These were the chiefs of Edom, according to their settlements in the land they occupied. This was Esau the father of the Edomites." (emphasis added)

• Esau was defined by history. From conception, Esau competed with his brother, Jacob/Israel. Now, recorded for all time, Esau’s ruling descendants are measured first and foremost according to the timeline of Israelite kings. Though 99.9% of us reading this devotional won’t have our lives written in any sort of historical record, still our legacy will live on. As surely as we have been defined by people and circumstances in our lives, so we, too, will leave a defining footprint on this earth. What will it be?

Lord, teach me to live each day as though I’m building my legacy. Show me every individual, every community, every circumstance in my life as a tool that You’re using to shape my legacy for those who will follow. As I am defined by my legacy, let my legacy be a defining gift for my children and children’s children.

SEARCHING FOR MORE

When do we begin yearning for MORE? I think it begins when we‘re children – as was evidenced by my own little cherubs. We started the Christmas tradition of advent boxes when our girls were in first grade and pre-school. Each day, from December 1-24, our family: 1) read a selected Scripture, 2) shared a short Christmas story, and 3) opened one 1"x 2"x 3" box containing a small gift. The gifts might be coins or pieces of candy, sometimes even a colored "pill" – the outer shell of which dissolved in warm water to reveal a little foam animal. At first each gift was met with wide-eyed enthusiasm, but as the girls grew older they searched for MORE. By the time they reached fourth grade and first grade, our little angels were scowling at the coins and tossing the pills aside. They wanted MORE. So the next year, we made advent a scavenger hunt, filling the advent boxes with clues as to where bigger gifts were hidden in the house. A few years later, our girls outsmarted us and found the gifts before the advent boxes were opened. So once again, we had to find a way to deliver MORE. We began placing wrapped gifts under the tree and numbering them in correlation with the advent box number. We tucked into the advent boxes snappy little poems that gave clues about the gift in the corresponding wrapped gift. This advent strategy has proven most effective and is still in use today – when our girls are in their mid twenties! (The above photo displaying some of our little silly gifts still in use and the fact that our new son-in-law also finds this tradition fascinating!) However, now that our kids are grown, we've all discovered there's just something missing about Christmas. We remember how special Christmas was when children's laughter rang out when they opened their gifts. Wouldn't it be nice to have some grand-kids around? Hmmm, maybe even grown-ups want MORE….

Gen. 35:1 – "Then God said to Jacob, 'Go up to Bethel and settle there…'"

• Jacob went to Bethel. He built an altar, Rebekah's nurse (Deborah) died and God reaffirmed both His covenant and new name to Israel. But instead of obeying God's command to settle in Bethel…

Gen. 35:16-20 – "Then they moved on from Bethel. While they were still some distance from Ephrath, Rachel began to give birth and had great difficulty. And as she was having great difficulty in childbirth, the midwife said to her, 'Don't be afraid, for you have another son.' As she breathed her last—for she was dying—she named her son Ben-Oni. But his father named him Benjamin. So Rachel died and was buried on the way to Ephrath (that is, Bethlehem). Over her tomb Jacob set up a pillar, and to this day that pillar marks Rachel's tomb."

• Rachel's death was the first of three tragedies that befell Jacob after he left Bethel. I had always imagined Rachel's death as God's punishment for Jacob's sin. But perhaps she died simply because Jacob didn't heed God's practical directive to SETTLE in Bethel because his pregnant wife was on the verge of childbirth. Sometimes God's commands are purely practical in nature. Many Old Testament Laws (Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy) were given to establish sanitation and health practices for a nomadic nation. When the Lord lays a command on our hearts, oftentimes His motive is not to squelch our fun or prove His power – but rather to protect us from all sorts of potential harm.

Gen. 35:21-26 – "Israel moved on again and pitched his tent beyond Migdal Eder. While Israel was living in that region, Reuben went in and slept with his father's concubine Bilhah, and Israel heard of it. Jacob had twelve sons: The sons of Leah: Reuben the firstborn of Jacob, Simeon, Levi, Judah, Issachar and Zebulun. The sons of Rachel: Joseph and Benjamin. The sons of Rachel's maidservant Bilhah: Dan and Naphtali. The sons of Leah's maidservant Zilpah: Gad and Asher. These were the sons of Jacob, who were born to him in Paddan Aram." (emphasis added)

• Consider the grief each person felt at Rachel's loss. Jacob had loved Rachel since the moment he saw her, and imagine Bilhah's grief at the death of her lifelong mistress. Rather than making camp at Ephrath (Bethlehem), Jacob pressed on, moving his family during their grief. Consider this. Would Reuben have slept with Bilhah if Jacob's clan had settled in Bethel as God commanded? Of course, we cannot know the exact circumstances that drew Reuben and Bilhah together, and they are responsible before God for their choice to sin; however, did Jacob's disobedience play a part in their liaison? Maybe Bilhah was despondent at Rachel's death and Jacob, because of his own grief, was insensitive to the needs of others. Perhaps Reuben had simply meant to comfort Bilhah, or maybe as Jacob's firstborn, Reuben saw the opportunity to gain MORE than the firstborn's share and take his father's wife. Sometimes one decision sets into motion a series of dire consequences. Notice Scripture records nothing of Jacob's reaction to the news of Reuben's infidelity. Only a recounting of Jacob's children punctuates the scene, affirming that his family remains – hurting and broken as it was.

Gen. 35:27-29 – "Jacob came home to his father Isaac in Mamre, near Kiriath Arba (that is, Hebron), where Abraham and Isaac had stayed. Isaac lived a hundred and eighty years. Then he breathed his last and died and was gathered to his people, old and full of years. And his sons Esau and Jacob buried him."

• It seems Jacob's search for MORE finally ended when he arrived at his father's side. But his satisfaction was fleeting. Isaac died shortly after Jacob arrived and left him face-to-face with his brother, Esau. Jacob had twelve sons, three wives and the wealth of his household, but at what cost? His father was gone, his beloved Rachel dead, and the brother he had deceived repeatedly stared at him over their father's grave. What MORE could fill Jacob's heart now? Where did he turn to seek new hope for the rest of his days? The desire for MORE must be focused beyond the temporal things of this world.

Lord, I yearn and search for MORE, and then when I reach the goal – it often feels hollow or only satisfies for a short time. Teach me the contentment of obedience, the utter satisfaction of living in perfect harmony with Your desire for me. Teach me to be still when You ask me to settle and to step out when you call me to action.

Touching the Clouds

I first met author Bonnie Leon when she taught a workshop on "Plotting Your Novel" at our Portland chapter of ACFW. I was so impressed with her knowledge and ability to communicate what she knew that I sent a "thank you" to this multi-published author. Within hours she replied in her sweet, humble way; and I discovered a kindred spirit in the woman behind the books.

Bonnie, like myself, was introduced to her writing career by adversity. After an auto accident, she found herself unable to return to her "normal" life and instead entered the writing world as an outlet to glorify God with her gifts and talents.

Bonnie's most recent book, Touching the Clouds is the first in her Alaskan Skies series. I've always been intrigued by Alaska and hoped to explore the beautiful 49th state on a cruise ship. However, Bonnie's vivid description of both the scenery and characters in Alaska's mid-1930's territory gave me a glimpse almost as real as being there.

In the story, Kate Evans is an adventurous and independent young woman with a pioneering spirit. When she leaves her home in Washington State to follow her dream of being an Alaskan bush pilot, she knows it will be an uphill battle. But she never expected it to be quite like this. As the lone woman in a man’s world, she finds that contending with people’s expectations is almost as treacherous as navigating the wild arctic storms. When she crosses paths with a mysterious man living alone in the forbidding wilderness, she faces a new challenge. Can Kate break through the walls he has put up around his heart? And will fear keep her from realizing her dreams?

Touching the Clouds will draw you into the characters' lives amid the stunning backdrop of the Alaskan wilds. If you're looking for an enjoyable historical novel, Bonnie's new offering is a great place to search!

A WOVEN MOMENT

It's sort of like déjà vu – but different. A woven moment occurs when events from your past converge in a single moment, weaving together an indelible new moment. Woven moments often happen during landmark events in our lives: weddings, funerals, reunions of all sorts. In the weeks and months leading up to our daughter's recent wedding, I experienced many woven moments, but one stands apart. One evening when Emily was home from college on Christmas break, we unearthed my twenty-six year-old wedding gown, broke open the sealed package, and she tried it on. Tears instantly sprang to my eyes. It was a woven moment. Memories of her dad's and my wedding bombarded me. And then I saw our little girl on her first day of kindergarten, her golden curls bouncing as she ran down the stairs with her sister. Then came those difficult teen years, rushing back in a cacophony of victory as I watched the love of Jesus now sparkle in her eyes. This new moment, forever etched in my mind, standing in my wedding gown. (A perfect fit, BTW – was I ever really that skinny?) Woven moments are most incredible because they aren't simply a one-time stitch – they're a lifetime tapestry. Less than six months later, I was blessed with another woven moment. My husband walked our daughter down a grassy aisle in her own wedding gown, a new moment added to the events that will weave into the next and next and next tapestry we share. God allows us to experience a little bit of Jacob's tapestry, Jacob‟s woven moments on his way to Bethel…

Gen. 35:1-3 – “Then God said to Jacob, 'Go up to Bethel and settle there, and build an altar there to God, who appeared to you when you were fleeing from your brother Esau.' So Jacob said to his household and to all who were with him, 'Get rid of the foreign gods you have with you, and purify yourselves and change your clothes. Then come, let us go up to Bethel, where I will build an altar to God, who answered me in the day of my distress and who has been with me wherever I have gone.'” (emphasis added)

• Jacob is terrified that his sons' rash attack on Shechem will bring vengeance from the Canaanites – just as he feared Esau‟s vengeance 20+ years ago. Notice that Jacob addressed “his household” and “all who were with him.” He was staring into the faces of the Shechemite women and children that his sons took captive. His deceitful history and his sons‟ sins stared back at him. But he CHOSE to focus on God's promise rather than his own fear or failure. His woven moment is one of purposely, consciously remembering God's faithfulness and moving forward.

Gen. 35:4-8 – “So they gave Jacob all the foreign gods they had and the rings in their ears, and Jacob buried them under the oak at Shechem. Then they set out, and the terror of God fell upon the towns all around them so that no one pursued them. Jacob and all the people with him came to Luz (that is, Bethel) in the land of Canaan. There he built an altar, and he called the place El Bethel, because it was there that God revealed himself to him when he was fleeing from his brother. Now Deborah, Rebekah’s nurse, died and was buried under the oak below Bethel. So it was named Allon Bacuth.” (emphasis added)

• Surely, in this collecting of ALL foreign gods, Rachel surrendered the household gods she had stolen from her father, Laban (Gen. 31:34). Was this the first Jacob knew of Rachel's thievery or idolatry? How would Rachel have felt about giving up the idols? Did it put a wedge between her and Jacob? Soon after arriving in Bethel, Jacob buried the woman who would have been his wet-nurse, Deborah – another strong female relationship in his life…strong enough to mention in the biblical record. Both the idols and Deborah were buried under oak trees. Though a spiritual victory for God at Shechem – overcoming idolatry – the personal turmoil for Jacob may have caused a few knots in this woven moment. Sometimes the best strategy for knot removal is simply to submit to the Master Weaver's hands and wait. Woven moments aren't always free of snags, but they can all be made beautiful by the Master.

Gen. 35:9-10 – “After Jacob returned from Paddan Aram, God appeared to him again and blessed him. God said to him, 'Your name is Jacob, but you will no longer be called Jacob; your name will be Israel.' So he named him Israel.”

• God reminds Jacob that he is named, “Struggles with God.” Why? My guess is: Because Jacob was struggling with God. Let's face it, life's been hard. Dinah was raped. His sons just killed and captured an entire city of innocent people. And then Jacob's mother-figure (Deborah) died. Wouldn't you be struggling with God? So in this woven moment, God calls Jacob to recall the wrestling match on the riverbank of the Jabbok. And with the memory of struggle came a renewed assurance of blessing.

Gen. 35:11-15 – “And God said to him, 'I am God Almighty; be fruitful and increase in number. A nation and a community of nations will come from you, and kings will come from your body. The land I gave to Abraham and Isaac I also give to you, and I will give this land to your descendants after you.' Then God went up from him at the place where he had talked with him. Jacob set up a stone pillar at the place where God had talked with him, and he poured out a drink offering on it; he also poured oil on it. Jacob called the place where God had talked with him Bethel.”

• How many times had Jacob heard his Grandfather Abraham tell the story of God's promise and calling? How many times had Isaac told Jacob of the Land promised to his descendants? Now, the same Almighty God speaks into this woven moment, a tapestry of history with a legacy that will stretch into eternity. The newly named Israel is forever woven into the fabric of his forefathers, the Promised Land and God's story. Just as we are woven into our own stories of family, experience and God's plan.

Lord, open my eyes to more woven moments so I can appreciate the Weaver's Hand. I want to hear Your voice and feel the assurance of your direction as Jacob did. Show me the past events that weave together my current moments into the delicate future You have so carefully planned for me. I want to walk in the beauty of Your very best, Father. Only Your best.

MOTIVES OF THE HEART

Motives are tricky business. Some are quite clear from the beginning. When we were driving our mega-cross-country trip from Washington to Indiana and back again, I would often turn to my husband in near panic and say, “Honey, we need to stop at the next gas station.” He, of course, assumed my morning coffee or afternoon tea needed an escape route. By the third day of this assumption, however, he discovered that coffee and tea weren't always my motivation. Each time I stepped through those convenience store doors with a sleeve of powdered-sugar donuts, he grew more suspicious of my bladder. Once, he even tried to stop at a rest area! Heaven forbid! Their snack machines NEVER have PSD's (powdered-sugar donuts – for those of you non-experts in Dolly Madison snacks). Thus began the challenge of motives. Was my plea to pee pure or a ploy for PSD's? Now, don't poo-poo our perplexing problem. One wrong judgment of my motive, and we could have quite a poo-poo problem. Fortunately, my dear husband is gracious and patient with my tainted motives, but in Jacob's household, motives of the heart were revealed only through tragedy…

Gen. 34:13-17 – “Because their sister Dinah had been defiled, Jacob's sons replied deceitfully as they spoke to Shechem and his father Hamor. They said to them, 'We can't do such a thing; we can't give our sister to a man who is not circumcised. That would be a disgrace to us. We will give our consent to you on one condition only: that you become like us by circumcising all your males. Then we will give you our daughters and take your daughters for ourselves. We'll settle among you and become one people with you. But if you will not agree to be circumcised, we'll take our sister and go.'” (emphasis added)

• Jacob, the man whose name meant “deceiver,” allows his sons to bargain deceitfully. The author of Genesis leaves no doubt that their motivation was deceit, and I don't think they ever intended for their wild demand to be accepted by the Shechemites. But what happens when your motivation is trickery – and then it backfires…and puts you in the tight spot instead? Where do you land spiritually after that?

Gen. 34:18-24 – “Their proposal seemed good to Hamor and his son Shechem. The young man, who was the most honored of all his father's household, lost no time in doing what they said, because he was delighted with Jacob's daughter. So Hamor and his son Shechem went to the gate of their city to speak to their fellow townsmen. 'These men are friendly toward us,' they said. 'Let them live in our land and trade in it; the land has plenty of room for them. We can marry their daughters and they can marry ours. But the men will consent to live with us as one people only on the condition that our males be circumcised, as they themselves are. Won’t their livestock, their property and all their other animals become ours? So let us give our consent to them, and they will settle among us.' All the men who went out of the city gate agreed with Hamor and his son Shechem, and every male in the city was circumcised.” (emphasis added)

• From the order of events in these verses, it sounds as if Shechem rushed home from Jacob's tent, was circumcised, and then took his trophy to the city gate and said, “See fellas! It ain't so bad!” Again, the author of Genesis tells us the motivation – Shechem was DELIGHTED with Dinah. But Hamor and Shechem were motivated by something different altogether – GREED – to convince the men of Shechem to submit to circumcision (“Won't their livestock, etc.…become ours”). Don't just skim over this. Circumcision is common in our culture, but in the land of Canaan, it was a strange mutilation of manhood. Jacob must have had considerable wealth in order to persuade a whole city of men to succumb to such a delicate procedure. Greed is a powerful and insidious motivator.

Gen. 34:25-31 – “Three days later, while all of them were still in pain, two of Jacob's sons, Simeon and Levi, Dinah’s brothers, took their swords and attacked the unsuspecting city, killing every male. They put Hamor and his son Shechem to the sword and took Dinah from Shechem's house and left. The sons of Jacob came upon the dead bodies and looted the city where their sister had been defiled. They seized their flocks and herds and donkeys and everything else of theirs in the city and out in the fields. They carried off all their wealth and all their women and children, taking as plunder everything in the houses. Then Jacob said to Simeon and Levi, 'You have brought trouble on me by making me a stench to the Canaanites and Perizzites, the people living in this land. We are few in number, and if they join forces against me and attack me, I and my household will be destroyed.' But they replied, 'Should he have treated our sister like a prostitute?'” (emphasis added)

• Known for murdering the whole town of unsuspecting Shechemite men, Simeon's and Levi's REVENGE for their full sister, Dinah (from the same mother, Leah) is legendary. But what about the other “sons of Jacob,” who went to Shechem after the killing spree to plunder the town and take captive the women and children? Are they less wicked because their deeds were motivated by GREED or LUST? And what about Jacob? He chastised only Leah's murderous sons, his only motivation seemed to be SELF-PRESERVATION – which isn't a bad thing…except when he shows no concern at all for his daughter or the dead Shechemites. Imagine if Simeon and Levi were the only ones with impure motives – imagine if Jacob's motives and those of his other sons' would have been righteous and repentant. How different could this event have been?

Lord, it is often in the fire of tragedy that all pretense is burned away and true motives come to light. Please, Father, purify my motives BEFORE the tragedy comes. Reveal where I have less than a clean heart, and by Your grace and mercy, help me to make the necessary decisions to change my heart and become a good and godly example for You on this earth.

PUTTING THE CART BEFORE THE HORSE

My husband and I are perfect for each other. He's a slow starter but a diligent finisher, while I start quick but struggle to finish. You can guess the positives and negatives of such a marriage. I think he over-thinks a project before he starts, and he thinks I put the cart before the horse – starting before I know how I'll finish. One of the best examples of my cart-horse problem is our dog history. Our first dog's name was "Hondo" – a puppy we picked up at a "Free Puppies" sign when Trina was just a toddler. It was at best a whim, at worst a disaster. We really had no idea how to care for a dog, nor did we have a particularly good plan for where we would house it in our backyard. Let me just say, it didn't end well. Fast forward five years. We're older and more responsible, and I think Trina needs a puppy for her birthday. This time, we decide it should be a house-dog. No outdoor provisions necessary, right? We bopped over to the Humane Society and got a puppy. Did we consider that Roy's job was unsettled? Or the fact that puppies are expensive, and we could barely feed ourselves? Two months later we moved to Ohio for seminary and couldn't find housing that allowed pets. Ugh. Again – cart before the horse. Fast forward five more years. Our girls begged for a dog, but I stood firm in my miserable memories. No way. No more gut-wrenching, heart-rending dog deals. This time my diligent, contemplative husband overruled my party-pooper attitude and started aligning the cart BEHIND the horse. Our family spent a month researching the best breeds for house-dogs. For another month we prayed about it. Soon after, we received a phone call from a friend, saying she knew of a dog (the exact breed we wanted) who needed a good home. We spent another month adding a dog run with a doggy door to our home. It was excruciating to wait for that stinking cart to line-up behind the proverbial horse! But when we finally picked up our sheltie, Princess, she was the greatest dog we could have imagined. Sometimes the order of events makes all the difference between success and failure – and in Shechem's case – the difference between life and death.

Gen. 34:1-4 – "Now Dinah, the daughter Leah had borne to Jacob, went out to visit the women of the land. When Shechem son of Hamor the Hivite, the ruler of that area, saw her, he took her and violated her. His heart was drawn to Dinah daughter of Jacob, and he loved the girl and spoke tenderly to her. And Shechem said to his father Hamor, 'Get me this girl as my wife.'"

• Shechem PUT HIS DESIRE BEFORE HONOR. Few people think of Shechem's love or tenderness toward Dinah. They think only of his violation of her. Since Shechem asked his father to get Dinah as his wife after he'd already taken her, the request lost some of its fervor. A desire fulfilled has no right to plead. Part of maintaining honor is maintaining desire.

Gen. 34:5-7 – ―When Jacob heard that his daughter Dinah had been defiled, his sons were in the fields with his livestock; so he kept quiet about it until they came home. Then Shechem's father Hamor went out to talk with Jacob. Now Jacob's sons had come in from the fields as soon as they heard what had happened. They were filled with grief and fury, because Shechem had done a disgraceful thing in Israel by lying with Jacob's daughter—a thing that should not be done." (emphasis added)

• These men PUT GOSSIP BEFORE THE HARD TRUTH. Poor Jacob heard about his daughter's defilement before Shechem or his father had the decency to tell him face-to-face. However, instead of sending someone to the fields to inform Dinah's brothers – to spare them from hearing tongues wag the same way he had – Jacob waited. Did he suspect they'd hear the shepherd's gossip? When a hard circumstance presents itself, it's far better to confront the matter than to allow gossip and assumption to sprout half-truths and rampant anger.

Gen. 34:8-10 – ―But Hamor said to them, "My son Shechem has his heart set on your daughter. Please give her to him as his wife. Intermarry with us; give us your daughters and take our daughters for yourselves. You can settle among us; the land is open to you. Live in it, trade in it, and acquire property in it.'"

• Hamor PUT HIS PROMISE BEFORE OTHERS' PERMISSION. Granted, he was king, but later we see he had to get approval from the elders at the gate for circumcision. Did he really have the authority to promise marriage, trade and property to Jacob and his family without the Shechemites' consent? How many times have I volunteered my husband or kids for a task or duty without clearing it with them first. Once is too many times in their opinions!

Gen. 34:11-12 – "Then Shechem said to Dinah's father and brothers, 'Let me find favor in your eyes, and I will give you whatever you ask. Make the price for the bride and the gift I am to bring as great as you like, and I'll pay whatever you ask me. Only give me the girl as my wife.'"

• Shechem TOOK POSSESSION BEFORE HE ASKED FOR OWNERSHIP. Asking for what he'd already taken was an insult to Jacob – especially when the stolen treasure was now defiled, as Jacob felt Dinah was. Shechem placed Jacob (and Dinah) in a no win situation – because no price can pay the debt of humiliation. It can be as simple as borrowing a shirt or cup of sugar without asking. The point is – respect dictates permission before we take.

Lord, I think in each of these "cart before the horse" cases, respect would have saved the day. Hamor's respect for Dinah, various individuals' respect after a grievous act, a king's respect for his subjects, an interloper's respect for a father's heart. Too often I get caught up in ME and MY MOMENT, and it blinds me to the responsibility I have to put someone else's horse before my cart. Teach me not only to do right things but also to do them in the right way and right order – in ways that bring You glory and represent You well on this earth.